The Life that was never Meant to Be.

Days have passed.. so have months..

2005-06-16T02:28:00.000+08:00

hEyA diAry,
i"m bAcK! or not really.. cos' just feeling.. the mood..to type an entry.. right now. at this blog. yupyup. it has been so many days since i last typed here. Just, i donno why..but.. i felt like checking out this blog.. and yeh i did. lolz. everything's the same.. since the last time i left it.. yeah..i looked back.. the previous entries.. briefly.. woah.. brings back memories.. bad or good. sad or happy. i don't know.. hahas.. yeh.. it's already like june now.. in the midst of the june holidays..how fast time flies.. everyone has moved on with their lives.. no more MI .. no more sas .. all of these r yesteryear.. yeh.. it's sad. tragic.
friends..go to..jc(s).. polys.. yeh.. embarking on yet another chapter of their lives..loolz..sounds a bit chim siah. loolz. yeh.. just just now.. before i went jogging.. i heard this Ex-sas boy.. dedicating a song.. over class 95fm..this old boy.. was from sec 5N.. yeh.. and he talked bout..the days..which he and his classmates would skip chinese lessons..smoke..etc.. and pay serious attention during maths lessons..simply b/c.it's the prinicipal teaching.. them.. yeh..and if im not wrong..it's Mr. Harry tan.. i was never taught by him.. hahas.. cos this old boy.. graduated in 1993. and tt's like.. so long back. i wasnt even primary one.. yet to enter.. sajs.. the mere dedication by this boy.. to his.. fellow classmates..brings back.. memories.. once again..sad/happy i don't know.. but.. the old building.. [sec skool sec 1 and sec 2].. does flashes in my eyes.. now the building's gone.. even the primary school..everything looks different now.. we can't revisit the location..those memories.. no more.. it's gone.. yeh.. even the geylang bahru site. sigh. these memories aplenty.. the days..when.. we would stay back..every tuesday..just to do d&t.. we would grumble.. and stuff.. but..afterall..it's like the almost the best part.. for me.. that is.. sigh. everything.. just hope i dont forget them...
yeh..and also..this old boy..added..that..many of his classmates and he himself..have beomce millionaires..sigh. hope they can tell me how did they do it.. yeh. last time..sas ppl are like..so enterprising..so brainy.. but now.. they r .. yucks. last time.. so many.. professionals.. have been nurtured..u get CEOs.. of big companies..somemore.. but now. sas ppl are like so poser. so slack. and their english is like getting worse. last time..at least there was some standard.. but now. yeh. the current sas.. yucks. disgusting. and.. surprising..this old boy dedicated the song..Air Supply - Goodbye.. it's heartening to know that.. at least.. he appreciates such music.. as.. u know. most ppl nowadays dont really appreciate such songs. so.. yeh really heartening to know of this.. loolz..yeh..
loolz..realized that tonight..im quite..emotional. loolz as in.. on the down side. anyway.. yeh think i did better go .. and.. to end off..

80's, 90's songs rule!

\ i just wanna live \

2005-03-13T05:00:00.000+08:00

HEeEeEeEeEeEyS diArIeEeEeEeEeEeEeEe!
MMmMMMMm, it has been like kinda long since I last updated my bloG. Hahas..think the last time I updated was Monday? =. Act. No bad le lah cos last time laggie worse… few months never updatee…okays bah..so lemme cut the bullshit and start bloGGing. Loolz. Quite much of things happened.. yeh..big thing small thing fat thing thin thing..wotsoever..thing thing.. =D. btw ritee now.. listening to the song..i always listen to.. Backstreet Boys – Quit playing games with my heart.mp3 niceeeeeeeeeeee song! BSb rOx. Loolz..im beginning to sound like a gay. =. Yeh.. I just got home… in fact bout 30 minutes back so..12++ AM yeh…
Okays lah think today I write this entry “go stun” [ singlish ] backwards. Let mUa talk bout today…then bout the other days before bah! =D today..i kinda overslept and woke up at 1+pm.. slept at bout 3am last night I think.. lools..i cant even rmb wht time I slept last night! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! My memory’s really bad man. Hope I don’t get any alzhemier’s disease.. hope I spelled it correctly.. yeh..it will be like so damn frikking ssad to contract such a disease.. I would rather die than to live w/o recollection of anything anyone… will just die man. Yeh but choi choi! Touchhwooood! =D then as usual… one of the first things I do when I wake up… press the “ON” button on the CPU… and went online.. yaa.. and I also played Virtual cop 2. loolz. Trying to play some more shooting games in hope that my reaction will not be tt retarded like what so many ppl love to say. =(. But this shooting game.. by right..should be easy..since it’s use mouse ma.. yaa.. =.mmm.. then wht else did I do ahhs.. oh yaa.. wanted to update my iPoD but h*ll.. donno how to =. And yeh! Rebecca got an iPoD too! Hahas.. iPod rulZ. Creativeeee EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Creative has no class no creativity so it did better go back to produce its sound blasters. = better not let ceng teng or any creative-nuts hear it. Or they r gonna kill meeee… =. Hahahas.. loolz..and I ate a bar of Cadbury choc! Yummy! Think I know wht I wanna be already when I grow upp… open a chocolate factory…muahahahahahahahahs! Like willy wonka’s! heeZ. Dream on man Jason. =. Then later on in thee day.. I went out… with chEriE yupyupp! Didn’t stay at home..hEng.. =. After much wishy washy, we decided to watch hostage! But hahahas.. u know.. im a super “latercomer” always late for rendezvous [ it doesn’t mean sEx okays.. it simply means a date! For anyone! ] sooo yeh..by the time I meet her it’s already like too late to catch any movies =. Cos we went to PS… first but lotsa seats all sold out.. so we gotta make our waaay to marina GV! Yeh.. and there was seats! Hahas.. we watched Hitch afterall. Though the intial plan was to watch hostage. Hahas.. but the time slots.. r like kinda limited.. so yeh.. didn’t mind watching it a 2nd time cos it’s so funny and nice! =) must watch movvvieee KkS! Ohh yeah and we ate at long john’s silver tooo… the only eating place [ other than foodcourt ] at marina sQ. cos they r like revamping the whole of marina sQ. so all of the shops r down..yeh…then at LJS damn malu… wanted to pierce the fork right into the Styrofoam plate..but the teeth of the fork broke and almost hit the eye of the guy sitting opp. Us. =. Then after e movieee..was thinking where to go..cos go home so early..so sian….then so I said go suntec city bah..to eaaat iceee creaaam! =D. Gelare ice cream! Yummieee! Another highly recommended ice cream!!! Sooo chewy…sooo tasty yummy! Then while walking along citYlink.. I saw my sister the real one lah not those [ sister mother grandmother friend kind of thing ] yeh with herrr goooood friend crystal in this shoee shop…ahhas.. then went to “tap” her on the back..loolz.. then she was like blah blah blah to me..bout dad kpkb…yaa… hear already sian ½… yeh.. after getting outta suntec..went to Esplanade..cos there the bus stop..gotcha buses for both of us to take. Direct buses. Yeh… but b4 we went to walk along the river.. just outside esplande… yehh..cos especially at night.. when ya by the “sea”..it’s like super relaxing… so yeh must go! Hahas… then we stood by this railing..and chit chat for a whileee… in fact think almost half an hr.. b4 going home bah… then reached home at 12++ yehh..
Ehs think my this entry like damn frikking boring..think it’s b/c im dead beat… it’s like 0416 now.. but nevertheless tell myself need to finish this entry..cos yeh it has been delayed for so long… yehh…so must write it out tonight die or live. =
mmmm..actually this week.. on Tuesday.. I wanted to go joggin..yeh..cos gotta like u know exercise a bit..so damn malu lah tt so many gurs in my class the 2.4 same or faster than me.. dots riteee…yehh..so must u know… practise…muahahahahahahas. But in the end on tt dya I ddint go. Cos came home.. too tired..didn’t feel gooooood.. yeh and tooo lazy also… Tuesday…actually nothing much happened.. pon PE lesson.. and stuff.. then actually supposed to go play pool with cher and sai..but didn’t go in the end.. due to unforeseen circumstances..loolz..then.. actually tired too..wanted to go home earlier to ZZZZZZZZZz…but later on..kum long..sMsed me..whterh wanna go out.. to play pool..then.. said okays bah..so yeh..went out.. till like… mMm… 10++ I think… then came home.. sian ½ also. LoLz.
YEah..now let’s jump to Wednesday.. =.. lools..honestly speaking..i cant rmb what even happened on Wednesday..shit man.. memory getting worse and worse…craaaB… only had a vague memory of us [ the class ] watching October Sky during physics lecture. Charles chang lah.. played the movie..nice movie… but..dammit man..it was compressed to an half hour show..so sad..only watched a bit.. yeh.. nice show..thought of getting the vcd..and also… another show called Dangerous Minds… showed during GP lecture..hahahas…yeh… then shortly afterwards..if im not wrong..whole class pon.. skool again..ran outta skool hahas..took a bus to west mall.. to makan BK. Damn fun. Cos after eating.. we [ ceng teng, meeeeeeeee, worm, chelmin, Amanda, Pamela ] shooting ice thru the straws…at each other..hahahs.. and oh yaa.. how can I forget throwing of crushed paper balls at each other ! hahas.. childish but yeh..fun lah! Then afterwhich.. most of the ppl who came to skool..came to my hse.. 8 ppl.. woaah..nvr had so many of ppl entering the doors of my hse..loolz.. yeh… we played computer… [ gunbound…] playstation… and my classmates helped ransack my bedrroooom = hhahahas.. and yeh.. the miniature bBaLL ! loolz…afterhiwch.. I followed ceng teng..to BB east.. to collect his spects..yeh..then came home le.. also wanted to jog..but too tired. So in the end. Gave it a miss. =. And the day ended just like that!
Muahahahahahahahahahas! Now it’s time to talk bout Thursday………….! I didn’t go to skoool..cos wanna stay at home and catch up on my precious… bao-bei-ish sleep..damn tired… so yeh.. gotta replenish..rejuvenate..all the “re” words…Thursday practically rot my life away. Did nothing except clearing up my bedroom over here and there a bitt.. then.. I went for swimmmming lesson… at 630… yeh..and this lesson almost killed me. Jeremy lah.. asked me to swim 4 sets of 4 freestyles each consecutively. Almost fainted man. Swam till really can cry. Cos he wants every set to be 4:20 mins.. somewhere around there..yeh..and of cos.. as the no. of sets go up… the time taken.. also went up..hahs. yeh.. actually thinking tt..perhaps..learning this swimming thing is a waste of money..haiyaa.. don talk bout it already. Only make me feel worse. Cant ruin my mood for sleeping man…but basically..after… the swimming.. mood wasn’t as good as it should be.. =
Done with thurs..and here comes friedaEeEeEeEeEeEe! I woke up to the ringing sound of my telephone..yeh..and guess who called. Ceng teng. Or Rebecca. Rebecca I think. Cant really rmb. Yeh.. as usual.. I pang-s e h-ed them.. yeh.. cos I kinda overslept didn’t go to skoooool..then they jio-ed me to go to clementi mAcs… to meet them to go to Expo together for the popular fair..loolz..sounds lame I know.. but..guess it beats orchard..cos like wht ceng teng said.. everyday orchard really can be damn sian..so sometimes.. a change can do tt much of a goood… I bough this book on marilyn monroe’s death.. seems interesting and kinda cheaaap…8 bucks…so bot it.. yeh.. but yet to read it = afterwhich went to suntec… to makan lunch at KFC… and shot icee…yeh .. and not to forget.. the uneventful..event.. about chelmin.. wanting to pour ice into my shirt.. but in vain =) hehZ. Then after which we went to Esplanade’s library… super boring..as in.. the books and stuff.. guess so..cos it looks so.. = yeh then sat at one corner…talked cock for 2 hrs..kewl riteee..hahas..yeh.. surprisingly.. time passes tt fast..when u have cock coming out from ur mouth. = I mean talking cock. Yehh… then by the time I got home.. already like.. 825pm…and im home alone..no one’s home.. so yeh decicded to go for a jog..hahas..forced myself. And furthermore..saw so many ppl jogging ..on the way home.. a bit the motivated..muahahahahaas! so yeh.. went to jog..surprised ritee..everybody.. =. I jogged.. to the main road.. passed by ITE BUKIT BATOK.. thru the factories place.. then took a detour.. home.. by the caltex… way… to the back way…of the ITE…yehs.. something like that.. = [ guesss only I can decipher wtf im writing hahahas ] yehh..took me 21 minutes..to jog tt dist. Whtever the dist. Is =. Home in time for my shoooow! =D 9 oclock show…super niceee… yaa..stopped twice..thoh during the jog… of which the 2 nd time felt like throwing up..loolz.. but not as bad as last time.. my FAILED attempt to jog to bukit gombak..tt time was really damn bad. Couldn’t walk for 1 min or else I fear all my intestines will just vomit outta my mouth. Muahahahahahas. =P. yehhh.. tt’s bout it for Friday! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Finally im done with the entry… it’s 0456… time to ZZZZZZZZZZZZZz…maybe tml I go to austen’s church again.. =D.
Think I’m over bothered with what others think of me.. sigh..how I wish I can get rid of all this.. sUx.. man.. yeh life’s like that.just like wht austen would have told me..esp. on wht happened yst…yeh sucked totally.
Well welll… listen to Good Charlotte – I just wanna live! I just wanna live…….. …………..
Nightey O nights diAriEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! * mUaCkS
MuahahahahahhahaahaS!

i feel down. i am troubled. i am sad.

2005-03-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

hEeEeEeEeYs diAry!
hAhAhs.. somehow..the title of this entry didnt seem to match the starting of this entry lOlX! i'm feeling down.. i think i am troubled.. and. maybe i'm slightly little weeny tweeny peeny sad.. and cRaNkY! tt's why im not acting the way i should be acting. loolz..toking ruBBish again...= byy the wayy... regarding the sudden change in appearance and interface of thiss bloG of mine .it's all thank yoUs to Ms. chelmin ! hahas.. if she didnt help me..alamak.. it will still be the.. BLOGSPOT's default template = hahas.. ya lO.. so must thank her.. hahas.. for helping me find such a cuteee.. template...and help me change the colors..add in a tagbOard..and the clock on the cursor too! yUpyUp..everything done by her! hahahas.. yeeehh... !
so shucks man..yst didnt update anything at alll... yst was sunday ritee? loolz.. my memory is failing me again! donno why.. but i feel as thoh.. everything's like so disorganised in my bRaIn..just like... my desk in my bedRm..right now..=. anddd i just simply take so long to .. like recollect.. wht i wanan say.. or memories. it takes few seconds at least. =. siGh..getting rusty le.. and laGGy.. loolz.. now i know why my entr's so long.. becos.. the starting im already like bullcrapping so much..lOlz. but guess this is like some kinda me and me and me. just so love to write rubbish and wotsoever tt comes right into my mind.. so sometimes i feel so restricted..if i cant type anything here.. =. im so Crap and Crap and Crap... yeh..boring bLoG..full of ruBBish not worth reading ... anyways.. damn silly. think quite a few ppl found out bout my bLoG already. cos... im so dumb to choose this as my bloG. dummy dummy me. so toot riteee.. yaa.. intended to simplify things..but now.. instead...=Z. mMmMmMm.. donno why..but yst and today.. mSn onliners.. so little. unlike.. the days b4..=\.
okays lah. stop the bullsh*t and start writing. or else. will never ever never get anything written. =. tok boutttt yEsTeRdAy! i woke up eeeeeearly in the morning! at mm..8.30am.. for me it's liek so super frikking early..so missed my bed..the soft soft cushion.. yaa.. woke up Ks despite sleeping late. =. then i dressed up and stuff lAh..cos meeting aaaaausten a.k.a. osten at Queenstown mRt 10.55am =. we were going to his church together! finaally! after donno..uncountable weeks.. i step foot into a church again... then saw fEliCiA toOoOoOo! hahahas.. she's soo damN skiNNy.. and talL! skinny as in real skinny like 40kgs on the weighing machine... when she's like 168.5cm? hahas.. so literally.or perhaps.. realistically.. a big howl of wind..comes along her way.. we can say " byeeeeeeeeeee! " hahahas.. then managed to survivie thru the sermon..hahas..actually not tt bad lah cos the preacher's gestures n actions dammmn funnnie! hahas.. and heard he's a doc. who treats cancer patients.. waa..pro right.. if only im tt smArTy =. then.. afterwhich..oSten n i walked to mRt station..took the train to... mmmm.. somerset! then silly KK.. cos felicia and friends were like.. on e same train as us too.. but on another side..hahas.. lame rite.. but in the end..chttted up with her.. at somerset..then afterwards... osten n i went to centrepoint! muahahahs. to makan lunch. finally k.. didnt eat the whole morning.. soo famished! makan lunchie at mAcs..! BiG MAC!! weeeeeeeeee! then afterwhich..we just sat down..tok cock..listen CD.. yaa.. siGh.. so shiok..so relaxing..nothing to worry bout..to think about.. soo.. free...yaa.. then afterwards we went to eat VENEZIA ICEEEEEE CREAM! it rOx.! oh my gOsh... just simply so love it. it's the ebst ice cream ever ever ever! okoks.. must say where have.. for all ice cream fanatics! Takashimaya sQ. has one..Centrepoint Cold storage has one... fifth avenue has one.. tiong bahru plaza basement has one! the ice creeam is really nice man. dont try.. lose out man.. the taste..everything's just simply sooo AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! =D. try the cHoC. mint! mm..then after tt..we just simply stroll around.. orchard... and i saw pEiYi again! hahas.. so coincidental..or maybe..ya.. singapore's such a small placeeee..cant help bumping into ppl.! just only last friday.. i bumped into her toO! yaa.. nowadays go out at least got see some ppl.. not like during sec. skool it's like.. u hardly bump into any of them... yUpyUp.. =. then we walked around orchard till 5++ then came homee.. i slept the whole way.. home on bUs 77. so damn tired man. just keept on ZZZZZZZ n zzzzzzzzzzzz n ZZZZZZZZZ. hahas.. all the way to the bus interchangeee... then went home.. only to find a whining sister.. whining bout wht.. whole day nvr eat..and wht so bad life..nobody buy for her eat.. so okok lOrHz.. go and buy for her.. so troublesome ritee.. =. wht Seafood marinara w/o sotongs sommemore siaa.. from west mall foodcourt. =. then at wEst mAll.. kiM saw me.. but alamak lah.. didnt call me. loolz. cos too far. yaa.. so like that... then bot the food.. went home.. i didnt eat.. cos too full then. yaa.. then as usual lah..caame online..then till late night then bathed... then.. ate ChEEsE mUsHrOOm pRaTa from Al ameen! hahas.. take away not nice le.. become.. soggy soggy =. unlike fReSh bAkEd ones! hahas.. yaa..tt's bout all..for SuNdAeE!
---------------> mOnday! tOday! or maybe not. cos it's already 0020! hahas.. today lah. kena awaken by ceng teng's call. was in slumberland.. till the.. phone..rang..vibrated..hahas. then u know.. with the sleepy.. pissified [sound alike] voice.. " helloo.." hahas.. haiya so much bullcrap me. in short. he asked me to meet up wtih other classmates..at bB maCs! then i took soo long to reach there.. as wht.. they interpret it as lah.. act. 30 mins not very long ma.. =. cos they were sitting down..toking cock..hahas.. okays lah..maybe afterall it's slightly long.. loolz.. okays lah it's long. mmmm.. got reasons one Kk..for the lateness.. reasons..not eXcuse..hahas. 1st reason! brushed teeth.. 10mins. =. 2nd reason! change of clothes.. [ thoh thanks to ceng teng.. comments. wht bo bo lan lan shirt.. with SLIPPERS. ] hahas.. OP flip flops.. becomes mere slippers from his mouth. =\ 3rd reason! gotta make my hair.. hahas.. thoh it looked like shit today.. but don make even more shit.. so must anyhow make..= but i ran all the way to macs! at least.. halfway lah cos rebecca was like calling saying wht don come..in 2 mins.. we zao already...so mustttttt cheeeeong ahh! = reached macs..then so malu.. then said "sorry sorry sorry!" ahas.. then afterwhich we went to chelmin's hsssse to let the gurs change.. so tt we can go to bukit panjang plaza's SUPERBOWL to pool and to bowl! the bowling alleys there sucked = donno why lehs..but just doesnt feel like .. normal ones.. e.g. Safra or east coast park one..mmm.. anyway i bowled like shit too! hahas.. not toilet bowl ahhs.. =. the pool don need to say man. laggie worse. the other BALLS are like smaller than the white ball. and they r all so unpolished. what theee..... **** ritee..hahas. and 2 bucks per game. dOtZ. but nevertheless okays bAh.. get to go out.. n not rot at home..= then afterwhich went to LJS to makan! finally again! didnt eat breakfast..didnt eat lunch..so LJS was like..high tea..hahas.. and we [ ceng teng n mE ] took some silly pictures of what knife going thru eye.. loolz..over sian already. =. then after reaching cCk station.. all the guys zao le.. leaving ceng teng..and me. so we and the girls went to arrcade! at least the arcade's much beetter than the pool. =\the girls played time crisis 3..silent scope.. daytoona racing... and some parapara thing =. and almost dragged us along =. i think i busted bout 5 bucks on the arcade.. i played time crisis 3 alone..hahas. when no one was looking.. quickly go play alone. so wun malu myself loolz. surprisingly almost made it to stage 2. jsut tt little more bit man =. there r 3 stages anyway =. but anyway quite fun lahh to shooooot! just tt ur hand gets numb.. sometimes..then played silent scope! lools..thanks to ceng teng helped me..like to find the target..or else i think mati already lah. quite hard to focus. then ceng teng played... status wht PROFESSIONAL sia..but of cos lah.. ceng teng.. marksman..maa.. so got skill. hahas. so i got excuse. oopz. i mean REASON. hahas. lools.. this word reminds me of hOObastank - The Reason! then we played daytona racing! think one game i won ceng teng. one game he won me. haiya something like that one lah. then his daytona thing kept on NO TURBO. hahahahahahahas. then i played a solo game.. and came in 11/40 i think.. damn surprised. hahas. and i lang gah twice somemore.. cos last time i played solo... i rmb-ed it was 28th poosition at most. =. if only my class position improves tt much for academics. =. then after tt.. went to old chang kee..yeh.. to munch munnch.. so hungry man.. =.
and today someone said something to me. you have the kind of evil face. =. i have heard of blur face...sian face... comments. but evil face. tt's the first. =. and this person kinda gave me a pep talk. for what i dont know.. started asking me whether do i find my life boring just becos i can sit down and do noting and tok cock. =. and asked me whether wht i wanan be and stuff. =. so...... "planning". cos i never really think of wht i wanna be. as in.. really determined to have some certain occupation or what lah. cant really rmb-ed exactly wht this person said to make me feel low.. but yeh.. this person.. managed to make me feel..the blueees.. oh yeh.. this person said tt im mean... yupyup.. guess tt's one of the worst comments i can ever take in. as in.. if u really mean it lah kK. cos i nvr wanna be a mean person.. and being a nice person.. as in real nice person is just like so difficult..cos.. u tend to get bullied n stuff..guess tt's just the way the world functions.. it sucks.. but yeh. btw.. think osten's like.. one of the nicest guys i have ever seen.. he's like a sensitive guy..as ...in he is very affected by.. like e.g. u say.. "my day's not a good one.." he will like ask u and..try to console u.. mmm.. yeh.. one of the nicest guys i have ever seeen... why cant everyone jsut be a nice guy... and no bad guys.. wun the world be a better one... well..guess there have to be some bitches and bastards lying around.. = and yaa..last night heard.. something from someone.. " loner. you're a loner". cos i was like teasing this person sotong and stuff too. but..it sucks i guess.. cos it seems to affect me.. pretty yucks.. and thoh the person may say it becos of my mSn nick then... " celine dion - all by myself "..yeh.. it still affected me.. yehh.. maybe perhaps..being a loner..may not be tt of a bad idea.. =. the dream thing i hope for : a world with no bad people. live happily ever. no stress. no worries. yupyup..if only..life's like that... if only.....................
oh yeh..and i went swimming today. it was kinda planned..as in..i thought bout it.. ysesterday..to go swimming today. cos nvr swim for almost a week..feel kinda weird.. actually i was kinda tired..but thanks to tt person who gave me the pep talk..also said... " u should seriously plan wht u wanna be " loolz.. not tt i wanna be some olympic swimmer.. but at least.. after hearing it.. felt tt i should not be too lazy.. and go siwmming. =. yehh.. the talk affected me both ways. and i swam 29 laps! wanted to swim 30..but in the end.. didnt = stopped at 29. did 8 freestlye laps for warm up.. 2 laps backstroke... 4 sets of [ one lap butterfly. one lap breast. ] then.. 2 sets [ one lap. freestyle. one lap double hand backstroke. ] ..then 1 set individual medley...( is it spelled correctly? = ) yeh.. haiyaa.. and some more laps which i forgot already. and i timed myself just now... dammit bout 57:00 for 50 m freestyle. didnt swim fastest.. but.. dammit man. the other time got 45 seconds for it.my fastest.. =. so damn slow..wtf.. yehh. maybe really the other time the stopwatch has problems. =/. yehh... hope i can like.. perhaps go joggin tml. as in dont be lazy and stuff. anyway guess i think i did better sign off. it's 0118 already! and tml there's skool dammit. didnt wanan go actually. =.
tuning to [ BSB - All i Have To Give ] . guess it's like that... gonna go off soon... sweetie o babie diarrrriee.... ciaosssssssssssssss!

A friday. morning.

2005-03-05T03:16:00.001+08:00

hEys diarrryyy,
it's already 0323! but nevethelss think im gonna write this entry..afterwhich im gonnna ZZZZZZZ... time to lay asleep on the best bed in the worldd..[ma`bed] hahahs. listenin' to class 95 noww... it's been a rather long time since i last heard it.. and just now.. heard this song.. which brings back nostalgic memories.. back to the time..when austen, me, kum long, arthur, loy studied at delifrance..the one..in toa payoh library itself. rmb..last time.. just b4 o's.. everyday after skool..we will make our way there after makaning lunchiee..and delifrance would be so cold..just like usual... and we would be freezing..hahas..while struggling to study... physics..chemistry...amaths..emaths...combined humanities.. and as usual.. the speakers will play on this CD... the same CD. and in it..has one song which is what i heard just now over the radio.. that's why it brings back..sad..and good memories..hahs. the good o secondary school days..................are all over.. =(
today didnt do anything.. so borrrrrrrrrrrrring! woke up at 12... then wanted to go central to get lunch..but somehow..mom and ribeina started squabbling..so siann... just sat there and listened to them yak at each other... double siannnnnnnn... yehh..ribeina is like..she doesnt understand... how much mommy loves her actually..yehh.. haiya heck lah.. donnt know them..just thinking of it.. makes me..feel all...yucks...bad feelings. then in the end no one went to eat lunch.. so i ended up.. sleeping..so as to forget bout' the hunger.. i was going thru..loolz.. and btw.. i felt kinda tired too..so went back to sleeeeeep..n sleeeep n sleeeeep..so shiok.. siGh. dont know why im always tired. always exhausted. always sleepy. guess it's like..... a damn good way to escape from the real world... and just sleep on... wander around in ur own world... it frees u of all problems... and everything.. guess tt's why.. i love to sleeep so much.. ever since sec 3... thoh sleep..doesnt get rid of any problems permanently..but at least it does... temporarily.. and tt's what sometimes..we all humans need.. =//. loolz.. feel as thoh im beginning to sound a bit philosophical =
let mua moveeee on.. i woke up at 5++ bout 3 ,4 hrs of sleeep..so shiook.. feltso rejuvenated... so refreshed... so energised.. hahas.. and saw my handphone.. astounded to see 106 missed calls... muahahahahahahahas. thanks to someone lah. indulging in self entertainment .. which is to keep calling ... and let the Missed calls amount till donno like what... = then i ateee.. pasta..homecooked! by ma mom.. tastedd...soo sooooo..yummalicious!! =D. afterwhich came online..i think.. pai seh i got STM [short term mem.] lack of memory space lah..only 2MB = then i chatted with her... and chatted and chatted..until i have gotta go get WAN BAO for my mooom... so went to get..went all e way to central... by myself..then came home..showered... [all refreshed!] then.. called her.. yeh..and talked and talked..again.. till 10++. and my mom told me something.. she hoped i get into uni..and stuff.. and don't know why..everytime..she speaks of..it ..she starts to tear immediately... siGh. hope i dont slack in Jc.. and oh yeh! im so sooo confused bout which Jc..to choose! but no fear! hahas.. i asked for uncle peguin aka uncle patrick's help!! and prayed to God..for an answer... yaa.. caught in a dilemma. Ij or pJ. guess that's bout it for the day... online for several hours already... and just now my dad came into my room..asked me bout the JAE thing.. he's like.. so concerned bout my sis' one and yet.. like..don even ask bout mine. my mom was telling..him bout my results.. bout the L1r4 and L1r5 thing..bout me screwing up my combined humans. or else..results still okay.. and he just simply walked out of the room.. yeh..wtf.. yehh... and he was like telling my mom again.. bout wht johsnon and my sista can speak so weell and stuff as if he raised a autistic son like that. yeh f*** it. he hardly tried.. to even help me get rid of this prob.. and only know how to make "what the fcuk" comments. thoh i changed, he still keeps thinking the same way. yeh.fcukitfcukitfcukit. guess life's like that.. like what austen used to sayy.....
yupyup..guess tt's bout all i have 2 saayy for this entry! still listenin' to class 95. nicey~

-never want to talk the way i did... but.. u seem to.. be... more.. oblivious.....

j a s o n rOx. hahahs.

A friday. morning.

2005-03-05T03:16:00.000+08:00

Everything's a blur...

2005-03-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

hEys deariest diarrry..
this time round i make sure i write one full entry. shucks k. everytime wanan write..but end up writing a super duper long one..and..cant seem to complete it...and hence ended up saving it as some draft..and left it there to collect dust [literally.] stupid riteeeeee...yeh man! so today tonight right now at this very moment die die must write finish. it's gonna be a rather short one i guess as compared to my previoussss ones which r kinda lou soh. =. soooo now let lim pei commence this entry...muahahahhahaaahhahahahaas!
mmm..wht should i talk bout first... bout my o Levels' results! yeh man..finally the results r out... and no more suspense to keep for me! for the 2 weeks b4 collection of results..never really felt nerve wreked or whatsoever..like other ppl kept feeling.. yaa.. can tell how bo-Chup-isH i am riteeee...yehh... only at times..when i think of it..it just makes my stomach churn and made me feel sick =(. so i decided to heck bout it [stop thinkin' bout it or even try to think bout it] and enjoy the rest of the days...hahahahas. so yehh..finanlly.. that day came! on that day itself or rather since the night b4.. yehh..started to feell... chickened..wimpy..hahas.. scareddddd! yehh..scaryy k..nvr felt like this during psle.. psle was like so bochup..and yeh... tt day finally came. and i was like in the skool hall... listening to the prinicipal crap about who got the highest and stuff.. and it was caleb! hahas..lower sec. classmatee..7 A1s k..dont play play ahh..and one silly B3 with thanks to Chinese.or else 8 A1s alreayd lah! was expecting jeremy to get it.. but.. surprisingly it went to caleb. and then..after which.. one by one..or rathe one big crowd..gathered around this desk..then one by one..got their results... some went estatic.. cos of their 11 points. =. and i saw my results on the class list.. 18 points. 18 18 18 18 18! at first from afar.. i saw the class list.. i thought i got some 20++ points.. cos i agar agar look at the middle of the class list cos tt's where my index no. is.. scare me. 20+ points can kill myself. no jc to even dream about. but thankfully i got an eighteen! =D yipeee yipee yeah! eighteen may not seem good.. or whasoever..which is true.. compared to austen, kum long.. yong chien.. who all got like 13,14 points. ='(. but nevertheless still quite satisfied..cos..my L1R5 is 18 points but L1R4 11 points!!! yeh kinda bHB and hao lian-ish..but yeh! most ppl who got like 16,17,15 points.. the L1R4 only at most 12 points! =D. so i guess that's something happy for me to get so excited bout..hahahs. i got an A2 for english! totally shocking! didnt expect myself to do tt not bad for english..cos i have been getting C grades ever since sec. 1 =. yehh.. so A2 really came on shocking for me! same as my sister...yeah!i! both of us got a2..hehehes... both my maths got b3. was hoping amaths to be an A2... cos i really studied hard for amaths.. but got b3..but nevertheless once again im glad! cos i improved 6 grades..hehehehes. prelims i got striaght F9 kKs! but actually no big deal lah. lotsa ppl who got F9 for amaths prelims.. all got B4 at least.. my combined science i got an A2. wanted an A1.. but.. i guess yeh..chinese didnt change grade..b3..so i didnt know whether i did as well as the first time..or worse than the first time.. and..............my dnt got A1!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! so happy k! was worrying that i might get a B3.. cos..of the theory ..which i hardly studied. so it's really like thank God for these results.. but sadly..to say.. my combined humanities..i got a D7.. which caused me to get 18... =(. but i guess.. i can't possibly thank God more for this results.. it may not be ultra good..but it's something to feel joyus about! cos at least..i get into a jc =D. and the shiok thing is that... at least i know that i did not bad.. except thanks to the comb. humans lah! and one thing that touched me..*wo bei mo le* is that.. uncle philip told me that i did not bad! he said that.. though.. of the things that happened..during the o's period..i still managed to get 18.. is pretty okayss.. =D. my cuzin got a 13! my uncle said he know he studied very hard.. so he really deserved tt 13... haiya starting to sound bhb le! but really..what he said make me feel kinda touched. coss.. he's like sympathetic or empathetic bout tt incident..i can never forget that incident... the one..that happened just before the chinese paper.. sometimes even talking bout it..brings back bad memories..
guess that's all bout i have to say bah! yupyup... think i better go offf... yEh.. and my mom was like cyring jsut now.. sigh.. she's like thinking so much.. i mean if ya at home the whole day.. u are not occupied..so obviously..u will think bout such stuff..yehh.. and she is like so lucky to have such a son like me.. yehh ""lucky"" with quadraple inverted commas.. guess i think i should be going..ciaossss diarrrrieee...

1st day .!.

2005-01-03T17:25:00.000+08:00

yO dariex...
yeh yeh...im back from the first day of orientation..of the MI schooooll...and im totally exhausted...b/c i slept a damned one hr only. donnno why..but jsut cant sleep...so tossed and turned...for like 4 hrs...b4 finally... fallin into a deeeep sleeeeeeeeeeep..and thne...dammit.. i was awaken... by mommy and alarm clock...cos...gotta go to skool u seee...sigh... missseed my bed so much. slept one hr only...bloody h*ll... but surprisingly...throughout the day..i was quite awakeee...
i woke up at 6am... brushed...bathed... then came out of the shower..apply...the new Neutrogena anti-acne pimple cream i bot last night! and.... made my hair... and got into my school uniform,..for the 1st time since.... ....... ...... o levels 6 weeeks back :S. then i walked to the bus interchange...and was like...blurred..cos i doonno where the bus service 77 is... so walked walked....then found it! the queue was not really that long.. but... somehow... as i entered the queue my heart beat faster..loolz...but after a while... it went back to the normal pace.loolz. and one thing i realised bout MI students is that... they don't really like to listen to music...cos they aint have their earphones plugged into their ears..unlike me. =X. then on the bus..it was like so freakking boring...everyone has like a company... and im like alone. sheesh. yehh..of cos there were some...alone...too lah..then 2 ppl...i noticed on the bus..is this gur... who talked on the phone..the moment she stepped onto the bus...looolz... and this pair of gurs..from saint margs... was like..toking and toking and toking... and one of them looked like a butch. =\. yehhh...
then finally...the bus reached the school and so...everyone...boarded out... and yeh... entered the school..which is like some pile of ruins... like crap..the hall is so small..and they want us to assemble in there... and so happened... 3 saint margs' gurs... sat next to me... and throughout the talk..they were chit chatting and chit chatting..and their tok was quite crude and cheap. loolz.but neevrtheless it was kinda funny and provided some entertainment... since..MI was like...so *yawn*.
And after which..there was a toilet break..which i badly need...cos... i drank like 500ml of water early in the morning...yeh went to toilet..and managed to contact with the other sas boys... wei yew... kum sooon... dun wei.... ching sian.. of which... 2 i was pretty shocked to see them... cos unxpected...mah.. =\. sigh. i think i better sound less oriental...so cheena.
Then we sat around..and stuff..b4 going back to the classrooom... yehh...and we played..games u know those types which require to quickly touch someone...or get ur ass sat on a chair..yehh... and i kena... oncce.... yeh..and i was like running around... and ppl were saying names which i was like "huh?come again?". yehh..and the OG mentor actually asked me and this scgs gur called jasmine to be the OG leaders..i was like =\. cos it's like my first in my life to be some sort of leader... and yehh... and sooo... and... we went to the hall again..to lsiten to some sillly talk..on studies....combination..which i didnt hear at all! =\. cos i was talking to this church friend called Ruth! i was like shocked to see her at the assembly ground.. she was like facing..her back towards me..and when she turned her back..i was like " hi! u're here?" hahaha...and so coincidentally... i happened to sit beside her... for... the hall talk... and so ..we chatted ... throughout the talk..so it wasnt tt boring...nor bad...and i actually saw her...in the same bus as me! but she didnt notice me... so yehh...
And then... we have to like u know..have some..identity..thing...create a cheerr... and stuff for the OG..and i so suay suay.. got chosen to help do this crap thing. and i was like..talking.a.nd nobody responsed.. felt like so idiot... then we did what..Millenia dance..in the hall and blahh...and i dragged the jasmine gur.. to help me take my place... to do the identity thing.. loolz..
hmmm.. there was... a crescent gur.. a saint margs...a acs... a sji... a river valley high.. nan hua... yeh..all these are of the better schoools...yyeeeh..and... most of the ppl there r actually quite funny..as in the sense... that..the way they look..when they r not doin anything.. their face xpression is pretty funnny... and the crescent gur was like...smiling to herself..when she was sms-ing... looolz... the acs guy was like bochup bochup loooook..yehh... there was this gur who looked so alike the female version of Linus!!! loolz..it's like so alike! they look like brother and sister should they stand with each other..! hahaha..
yehh anyway i think i should just sign off here...pretty tired..but think gonna hang on till 10pm..till i have watched every show..and then fall into a deeep slumbeeeeeeeeeeeeer! peace out diaryX. loolz.

come on come on... blow my mind

2004-12-28T21:24:00.000+08:00

heyya diarry!
just feel like typing one mroe entry . didnt really quite type last night's one.. cos.. after hearing mom and dad having their small squabbles.. sian half already don really have the moood to type.... yehhh lemme tok bout todaaaaay...
went to gym... in the morning.. iwas early! lools... yeh...seeeee... i can be an early bird too! lools... yehh.. then waited 30 mins for Long... and Loy came along bout 15 mins later...then finallly we stepped into the gym.! when i first stepped into the gym, noticed this grp of gurs! 3 gurs . noticed one cos she turned her head... she loooks okay...yehh..then after changing... went to do some eercises on the "machines"" loolz... then i went to do this leg exercise thing... which is beside the machine that gur was doing lahh... yehh..then afterwards...went to do the treadmill willl Loy. then i increased the speed to 12.0 shortly after i startted... wah... then jog until bout 1.8km only... felt like... cannot tahan already lah! the last time.. i did a 8.0 speed first.. then slowly increase to 12.0... so not so bad... but anyway this is not the crux! the crux...came... when.. the treadmill machine on my right.... has this gur.. on it..and she's THAT GUR's friend lah.. that gur was teaching her friend to use the treadmill..then afterwhich.. she left the machine..then THAT GUR hopped on.. too use the treadmilll... wow! haha.. yehh... then afterwhich... my tower... which i hung on the handle bar... dropped..and rowed off the treadmill belt..then later she helped me pick it up!! =D. hahahaa.... thought that she looks nice from the back... cos she was wearing this navy blue or black razor back... with those type of ROXY shorts..and hell yeah man gurs with those shorts loook sexxxxxxxxxy! hahaha... then one plus point is that..she has long...slender legs... pretty fair complexion tooo.... double WOW! hahaha... yehh but afterwards she left =(. yehh...
yehh..then aftwerwards we met up with Loy's friends... of which one he likes loools... then can disturb him...hahaha.. fun fun... yehh... i think the gur also likes loy a bit lah... can infer...loools... and this gur is like quite TEH BU those type.. =\. yehh.. anyway then afterwhich went to makan duck rice..with them...then went to ECP to cycle..yehh and it rained... hevaily... halfway through... and everybody got wet soaked to the skin..as in..like... u bathing with ur clothes on... yehh... thank god i have an extra piece of clothings.... afterwhich long, austen and me went to parkway parade..then i got a bit... offf moood.. cos like... austen and long always tokign among themselves... and.. haiyaa...they like always like to talk bout me..yehh.. zzzzz.. sick of it...
anyway.... i think im gonna go now! it's 10pm..gotta bathe..so dirrrty! seeeeeeeeeyaaaaa!!

2004-12-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

Dear diary! heyo!
hahaha... yeh..finallly im here once more.. after like what seemed to be an eternity...almost a month to be exact... bout me not writing new entries. yehh. it's bout' 1am herere in singapore...duh! loolz..im speaking non-sense...once more... =\. the holidays came just as fast as it is leaving us... =( sad uh? ya lorhs... so fast... one more week to the reopening of schooool...eeek...school makes me sick... =\. so far... enjoyed bout a mth and a week of holidays... so unfair right... as in..other sec levels students get to enjoy 2 mths and sec 4 students enjopy only 6 weeks... sigh...such injustice! looolz... yeh! actually wanna like... just go do something else instead of typing words heree...but since... i guess it's been a long time i last input an entry..so y not... guess im gonna type a pretty long one..and then go to sleeeeeep... cos tml gonna go to gym ! loolz..just hope i can wake up on time and not u know "pang seh" Long ..haahaa.. cos the last time..overslept... =\. yeh... so i hope tml iwill be on time! so yehh let's move oin to the net paragraph!
mmmm...let's see... wht crap and bulllshit have i done... for the past few weeeks...okay lah let's tok bout wht i did today... i went out with Long... met him bout 2.30pm? yehh was late..as usual... i mean me. hahaha... yeh... then we went to buy ticks for KUNG FU HUSTLE...stephen chow film... watching it for the 2nd time..lools..as compensation to the pang seh thing. yehhh..we bot the 6.40pm seats cos bloody hell the others b4 it were like... alll full..and blah crap.. then afterwhihc... i said go get perfume..or colgne..or whatever u call it.. cos... i wanna get it for myself!! hahaha... yeh... cos i believe that every one should have a fragrance! =\. not some sai smeell or what lah. but dont u agreee that with perfume...gursss smeeellll better?!?! hahaha..yehh... so it's like that..so i went to the SASA shop..the one which specialises in selling such stuff lah..and LOng didnt wanan follow cos he said what such gurlie stuff..and blahhh blahhh...so i went into the shop... like some toot..cos didnt really know which to get... so got help from this sales woman! loolz.. then i tried like... 10 samples! lools! but she looks pleasant... as in okokok good looooks..hahaa. yeh then she intro-ed me... FCUK one.. and the ECHO... or...DAVIDOFF... whichever u speell that.. yeh..but in the end i got the HUGO BOSS IN MOTION! limited edition one! cost me 73 bucks. yeh.. that blew a big hole in my walllet... yeh.. then after that ... walked around PS ... then took mrt.. to go get my fossil watch repaired. and to repair some shit strap... u need to pay 85 bucks..yehh... 85 bucks when a fossil watch on average cost only bout 130? yehh..so hell with the watch. then after that..played pooooool at meridien.... yehh.. then watched the movie... ate LJS.... then came home! home sweeet home~! and today..i thougt i saw someone... that looked like sF... but it wasnt anyway! cos .. this someone is taller ... =\. yeh but she looks like.. i think 70% alike? gave me a shock..lools..
yeh man... hey! i realised that.. this yr ..2004.. is like... the biggest change... "" in my life. yeh pls don tell me it soounds cliche... or what... =\. i did lotsa things... by my definition thoh. lools. i learned how to play poool.... go to gym... and ask for a gur's umber this hols. yeh. u didnt hear wrongly!!! i actually asked this gur who's working at KFC for her number. yeh. and it went wrong. dammnit. some silly MAT came along and said she's his girlfriend. doesnt seem like it to me... he didnt even give her a chance to reply me! damnnnit.. @#$%$$#@!$#%^#$%$@%. sigh eyeh.. didnt really expect myself to be able to ask her anyway. welll i guess.. if u wanna do a thing. just like what nike says ... Just Do It! b4.. u know.. ur balls shrink.... yeh.. but this gur has the ... most amazing smile..i have ever seen.. yeh.. so it's a die die must ask! her smile encompasses compassion.... love...care... it's like..WOW!. yehh... so like that =D. but sad..didnt get her number..well..guess that's the way the cookie crumbles..lools.
yyeh.. and my mom and dad were like having little quarrels just now..yeh..now and then..sick of it... guess i did better run! gottaaa gooooo!! cyaaaaa!

lullabyyy....

2004-11-29T01:47:00.000+08:00

hEllllloo my deariest diaaarry!
yeah.. bet u must be thinking wht i typed lullaby as the title of this entry.. haha beats me too..somehow someway this word just pooppped up in my head.. and yeah.. and so i put it down as the title. loolz. hey man, got so much crap to type... it's like 1.50am now. but i guess i shall type a rather long one, since i have nothing much to do... and have gotta wait for my wet hair to drrrry... okok...so let's cut down on the bullshit..and let me start my storry.. hahaha..
yehhh.. i have been going out for the past few days... on a thursday... saturday and sunday which isss todaay? hmm.. for me quite a lot already lahh cos never like go out so many days in a weeek b4. in fact the last time i wrote my diary entry was the first time i went out in this weeek... if im not wrong. and yehh so lemme talk bout thursday..first... actually nothing much... just that we wwent to watch the Incredibles.. haha the animated movie... not bad .. but i didnt find it very good.. like what kum long...daniel loy... austen think...... i just find it.. okay okay.. yeeep.. then we ate dinner outside..and austen went home earlier as usual..yeah due to restrictions... and we all went home quite early i think... reached home bout 11 i think. actually wanted to do more... but daniel like always wanna go home... after a while.. then since daniel go home.. then bo bian mah..so eveyrbody goes home..
that's on thursday.. and on friday... practically rot all the way at hme..so borrring man.. nothing to do.. just slept, eat.... and tried to play some playstation... and on saturday..finally! i went out. hahaha. went out with zhe yin... kum long.. didnt ask daniel cos he probably cant make it..cos got church engAgements.. practically thruout the entire day and austen has to go out with parents during morning... and evening.. so yeah kinda out of the question since we go out from the mid afternooons all the way to night..yehh then we went to watch SAW [ nc-16 ]. sad man..wanted to watch SHUTTER, b/c everyone is like saying tt it's so damn bloody scarrry... i also asked so many ppl... on it. and even..adults like bobby... my tutor..those u see the pattern.. surely not easily scared..he also commented that it's very scary..will make u sCCCream from the insssidee!! yehh all these good comments bout it made me really wanna watch it. but then.. kum long says watch tml..cos loy says watch tml... and he says more ppl more shiok mah.. but in the end we didnt watch on tml..which is today.. =(. and yeehh.. on saturday, after watching the saw... went to makan dinner..and walked around orchard road again.. went to borders...and stufff.. and zhe yin left quite early..like.. 8pm? yeaah cos cant stay out too late..must get home b4 his parents do...looolz... so like that lahh.. then left with me and kum long again... and then we walked aorund... and stuff.. walked up and down orchard road..went to Plaza Sing. and stuff..till 11+pm... then i reached home bout 12++... am.. anyway the SAW show was qutie good..though they didnt reveal the mastermind.. and it was supposed to be like very sadistic.. and gory... sadistic yes... but gory..nahh.. they didnt even show the cutting part of the leg!!!! =Z . but it was quite a cool movie with some heart stopping parts..u know.. typical of directors..to suddenly show.. someone popping into the scene and giving everyone a nice scare. but surprisingly...nobody screamed..as in no girls screamed.. u know.. girls being girls.. can scream.. at i think.. perhaps a 200dB... loolz.. hahaa...esp. the high pitch part. and it's like been rather a long time since i caught any ghost movies or horror movies in fact... and oh yaah how can i forget..i actually bumped into 3 ppl who i know yst.. as in like.. bumped into Nabil, this schoolmate... and church friends.. Ruth,Debra, anddd Faith. andd.... bumped into this relative of mine whom i think bout 14 yrs old perhaps? yehh so many ppl man!! it was like.. the most "coincidental" day of my life.. loolz..!! yehh firstly..i bumped into this Nabil guy.. at takashishishimaya... He was like with his girlfriend..or perhaps chasing after this girl... or watsoever. i saw him..and he saw me..and he aactually gave the "nodding" thing.. and walked up to me and talked to me.. and he said somethting liek this..--> " heyo... how's life after o's man... yeh yeh.. have fun k.." u know that kind of typical Mat Rocker talk ... yehh..and quite obvious he's trying to impress the gur beside him that he knows lotsaa ppl..have a wide circle of friends.. loolz..cos it's like..in normal school days i dont even talk to him..and didnt talk to him for like so long... as in yrss... cos not really close to him anyway. yeehh..kum long agreed with me on this too! hahaha.. yeahh now lemme tok bout the next coincidence! i saw these 3 church friends... not really friends actually cos don really tok with them..as in like u know.. given up.. irregular frequency.. of the attendance of the church.. yeeh.. i was walking.. with Kum long lah.. to cineleisure..to makan.. Burger king .. then.. saw them! saw them at the traffic light junction.. opp. The Heerens. at first i only like..u know givee a smile at them.. since i don really know them tt well.. then as i was walking away..they actually called me.. as in my name... then asked me whether i would like to go to the church camp..and that registration is ending tomorrow..which is like today.. yehh.. i was like dman surprised that the Faith girl toked to me. cos it's like young tt time..i think i accidentally fell on top of her..yehh as in on top of her.. and after since.. like.. never talk anymore... hahaa... that's why i was dman shocked that she toked to me.. and she looks stunning.. of cos man.. and she's like so near me.. not super near like 10 cm lah.. but as near as... like 40cm? perhaps? yehh.. actually the Ruth is not bad too .. as in pleasant looking lahh.. yeaah.. so it was like WOW!haha.. honestly speaking given these few babes.. wouldnt mind going to the church camp..hahaa.. but sad to say didnt go to church today yeah ... due to some..stuff.. =( . yehh..and now let mua tok bout the 3rd coincidence... i was on my way home.. as in.. walking towards the ticketing machine... out of the bukit batok...mrt station when i felt this tap on my shoulder..and so i turned back... and saw this gur! hahaha.. i was at first like.. give the "blurrr" look..cos..i donno who she is..though she looks slightly familiar. then she told me.. she's one of the relatives who always go to my granny hse during chiense new year..then i rmbed! hahaa.. and she was like the gur..who i had a little crush on.. cos during last chinese new yr..she looks so demure and stuff..and jsut cant help myself from falling for her..loolz... and yeaah.. i was like talking with her face to face yst! hahaha..she was with this friend.. yehh..man..but she's like those chinese speaking type..but neevrtheless nice tooo meeet her..hahaha.. and of cos.. u know..next chinese new yr..or christmas ..perhaps..if she happens to be theree..must of cos like..u know.. have a few chats with her..loolz!
okok..now time to get on to the third day...which is today! i was supposedly to go out with daniel loy and kum long..but ended up going out with kum long only.. cos daniel loy.. was sleeping!! yehh he kinda.. like .. over slept.. and forgot to arrive.. looolz.. so at first.. long and i were like..thinking.. "mmmm...perhaps another missing case...and perhaps we can appear on tv.. u know.. be interviewed by reporter and stuff..hahaa" loolz... yehh.. then we ate KFC...walked around PS..and to Best Denki to get some silly USB cable link..for my printer..and.. went to eat Sweensens!! hehehe.. we ate the Earthquake..yummmy!! 8 scccooopiesss of iceee creaaam!! and i was like hoping kum long agrees on watching Shutter.. haha...but nah..didnt..so i guess we're gonna watch it.. one of the days in this upcoming week.. maybe on wednesday.. or thurday...or friday yyup yupp..i wonder whether by then..would i have watched it with audrey already..but i doubt so.. cos i doubt she will ask me. yehh..u know.. so hahaa..can go watch with friendss!! and that's bout it i guess.. after the sweensens..we walked aorund orchard roadd... and saw this whole big grp of breastebretarian girls..hahaa.. acutally it's Presbetarian..something like this lahh it's a school. but i kinda keep on pronouncing it as Breast.. the front syllable..not on purpose!!! yehh..then after that.. went home... i guess i better go offffline nowwwwwwwwwww!!! it's late!! 2:41am!! gooonightttt my babylicious diarrrrieeeeeeeeee!

That gur in whitee... !

2004-11-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

hie diary!
just wanna come here to type a short one..yeah not really in the u know pumped up mood to type a superrr looong... message.. hahaa.. so just gonna keep it shooort and sweeeeet! first of all... o levels is over!! yeah!! finally!! hahaa.. aint the graduation night is also over...! ennded last night... i wore.. this Versace long sleeves..white... borrowed from uncle.. and this Marks & Spencers longs... which i bought last minute..for a whooping 120 bucks!! the most expensive piece of cloth i own.. since Levi's ... = yuup... didnt wanna like dress up too.. wow! sincer u know.. aint any gurs to impress..so yeaa keeep it easy man... and took some photos... and luffed throughtout the grad dinner..hahaha... not bads quite fun time.. and i bought my nokia 7610!!! wooohooo!! biggest investment..since...er.... since.... = hahaha..
And all i really wanna say today is that.. i saw this girl... at the Toa Payoh Interchange... who took the same bus service as me..73... and i think.. i just got a crush on her!! hahaa.. lemme describe every little bitty tweeny detail bout her.. which captivated.. me... and still captivates.. hahah.. she wore this.. white color raZor Back.. with this.. kinda like slightly flaired pair of jeans.. u know.. the thigh part.. thight..and the calfs there.. more loosened... yeah..and she wears this hairband... over her shoulder length hair.. she may not look preettttyy... but.. something bout her.. really just like.. sweeep me off the ground... . i guess it's partially got to do with her petite size.. not too petite.. but u know.. more.. to the smaller size.. but she's like 158 cm.. so not so bad..yeaa.. man..how i wish i could see her again... woooooooohooooooooo..loolzz.. no lah. just that u know.. nice to see such a girl..who makes me feel that way.. whahahahahhahaaa!! hahaa.. okok..i think i bettter gooooooooooooooooooooo!! seee yaaa!

Blasta The Rocka Musicc !!!

2004-11-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

Yo diary,
yeah yoyo.. blast the crap speakers..hahaha.. yeah kinda on [insane] mode. damn crap man. yeah yo... right here. stuck at the same junction. just wanna blast the whole damn house !! woooohoooooo!!! blast the damned speakers..blast everything.. with theee musssssiccc !! and rock ur head till the rocka baby slammin jammin tunees ! cant help muaaa...self... just wnananana blastaaa the music. bring it up ! up! up! the vooollumeee...drown ur problems in the blaring noisee..wooohooo!!! heckaaa all the problems u have... everee!!
yeah man..lotsa probs and all eveyrbody... so... sian right..yeah..so just blast the music... loudererererer and louderrererererer... yeah.. yo.. wht that "girl" said.. what everybody has their own problems..all muthafooking trueee.. so yeah..who will give a damn... wahahhaa.a.a. that's the way a pessimist talk! fookamist talk! woohooo!!! yeah don wish to type any probs here... here..think gonna sign off sooon..after toking all these bullshit.. yeaaa.. cya missy diary..rockaaaa on !

Creed - Six feet from the edge

2004-11-05T15:49:00.000+08:00

heya diary,
yupp it's a friday..or rathe THE FRIDAY!! finally.. a pit stop for the o levels.. haha.. finally gonna have a chance at sleeping more hourss yawwwwn... hmmm i think i slept about 30 hrs at most this whole week. yeaah thanks to the exams..yep..today was amaths..paper 1.. gosh..i lost 15 marks.. =( and my many friends lost like 2, 3 marks? ='( . yeaah... hahaa..this week..inclusive of this entry i would have written i think bout.. 4 entries? : .
actually yeaaah.. i just read her "" /\b\l\o\g\/ ... yeah.. actually didnt intend to..but..cos tin an was walking bout blogs..and..it came to my mind... hers. so yeaa..took a look.. and saw what shee typed. yeaa.. it sucks basically. i seem to be making mistakes my whole crapped life. oh what the hell...
yeah.. in her /\b\l\o\g\/... first of all she thinks that i don't like care bout her problems and stuff..and saying that im like treating her like some recorder...who i tell my problems to. but i guess she never know that i treat her as a friend that's why im telling her..those problems.. in my head.. i was contemplating who tell to..cause i just cant really quite take it well.. and yesss.. i decided to tell it to her..cause she's like the only person who i can probably think of..who might perhaps say something that's comforting to make me feel better.. yeaaa.. and she was the only one who really know..bout that silly problem..
yeaah..and she said that only when im in like normal mood..then would i wanan talk with her. on that day.. few days back..yess..i admit that im like ignoring her. cause what she said..in lieu with what i told her.. really made me feel worse. and yess.. i didnt want to really talk with her.. for the next few days..
And yeaa.. quoting what she typed - > "i am not something that you can jsut pour all ur woes to.. and expect me to pat your head and say "it's all right, it's not your fault" sorry... you can jsut GET BACK TO REALITY... things DONT go this way... i HAVE MY DOWN PERIODS.." yeah..in the first place..i never treat her as a "something"... and i never expect her to say it's not my fault..i do make mistakes too.. afterall it's human err right? all i just want is a person to listen to me.. and.. say comforting things.. i mean come on.. who doesnt want to hear these when he/she's down? yeah perhaps..im contradicting myself.. cos.. i am guilty of that..sometimes.. when she's down.. i think and i guess so that i made her feel worse... esp. on the phone. but.. i hope she knows that.. i treat her as a friend..that's why.. i don't mind talking to her on the phone.. when she asks. sometimes.. i wanted to do my own stuff.. but neevretheless i still call her ..
yeah and she said she regretted being friends with me..wow..double wow... yeah.. im just a hell yeah screwed up person. a person who sucks big time. i suggest she kill me.
i cant fathom whatsupp with all these f***ing shit. i feel all this shit too. then who the fuck is gonna understand all these? what the fuck.. all these suck.
yea... sometimes u cant help but agreee.. life sucks big time. nothing in this world is quite fair.. nothing...

[.braindead.]

2004-11-02T17:07:00.000+08:00

hie diary..
yeah yo.. im back.. aint it kinda contradictive..since i said i will most probably type the next entry only after the o levels.. and right now.. im typing it like every day hahaa. i feeel.. sad upset confused troubled. yeah.. because of what happened yst.. bout my dad and stuff.
it has troubled me..since yst.. and though i didnt allow it to affect me during my papers.. but i cant help but think bout it..when im out of the examination hall... i feel so... like.. i don't know.. it's like i just wanna tell this thing to someone .. and u know hope to feel better... so yeah i told someone.. who i think.. will be quite the right person to tell to.. hahaa..and i went wrong.. cause after telling her, i feel worse. yeah .. it's obvious we have contrasting beliefs.. and that she's like not really wanting to comment on that..
i told austen bout this.. but just a brief account.. austen is like always..whenever im talking he will just cut in.. and so yeah i can hardly finish my sentence..and so yeah.. don really feel like telling it to him.. and i seem to be unable to tell anyone.. bout' this matter.. until just now.. yeah.. but it turned out horrid. sigh..yeahh... i hope to say.. wish to say.. just f*** off with everything..
Pain..... let it overtake your senses....
haha..im kinda nutty.. yeah.. tml's english papers and physics paper ..so i guess i better run... byeee my lovelicious diarrry.. hahahaaa

DAY 1 of o levels. ordeaaaaaal !

2004-11-01T17:57:00.000+08:00

heeelllooooo Diary,
yeah yo yeah yo yo... today has been a "cool" day for mee..at the morning yeaa.. wonderful things happened.. right.. ""wonderful"" .. ppl screaming here and there.. yeah..very uneventful..so aint wanna write it down..
and yeah.. what a morning when my chinese o levels' paper... starts in like one hr... yeah..tough luck..but yeah..thank God i managed to regain compsuree... and sat through the first paper...paper 1 . i think i did quite ok.. but.. left lotsa fill in the blanks..close passage for the dearriest teachers marking my examination paper.. hahaa.. so i pray they wun penalise too much ! yeah hope i can get my a2..at least :P
Do your best and God will do the rest! hehehehehehhehehehe... hahha..im a bit cranky nutty..crazzy now..lolz...
Sigh.. so sad..recently..got this missing gur case..called Huang Na.. only 9 yrs of age..and she's like murdered..sigh..sad..
now i just hope the o's will be gone..so can party..and perhaps go out with audrey..hahaha.. i mean sian right..so just let ur hair down..and relax.. haha..ok..im nuts. haha.. cyaaaa!!

shorrrrt n sweeeet

2004-10-28T16:31:00.000+08:00

heyo diary...
just came here to type something short and sweet, like what my nick has suggested. Just wanna say something which is that... i don't know why..but i just cant study tt weell at home..shucks. it's damn weird one lah.. i study better outside..but u know when ya outside..u tend to tlak with ur friend... and stuff... quite a bit of time is lost though u managed to cover some stuff.. but at home it seems like even trying to cover a tiny weeny tweeny bit of stuff is difficult.. yeah... that's the crap feeling u gootta live with until the o levels end. and get screwed. and it's like... when im outside i wanna come home.. cos..shiok.. got bed to sleeep.. but when im home.. not sleeping.. i feel so.. yuuuck.. it's like damn sian and all.. sigh..cant fathom why im feeling this way... and yeah o levels is starting next week.. what a "nice" fact.. sigh! think i better go off...seeyaaaa..

cREEd, mATCHBOx tWENTy, 3 dOORs dOWn, sUM 41, L/P, nICKELBACK rocks on!

2004-10-23T10:01:00.001+08:00

hEyo.
yeah here to write another entry. it's already 23rd october, one more week shy of o levels. and yet i aint prepared..hmmm..so i guess im half screwed. and furthermore my mood aint exactly condusive to study. all the thoughts running through my head..yeah..alll the f*** up stuff..it's stressful, it's crazy, nutty, weirdy, bitchy. The feelings you experience hardly anyone is willing to empathize with u.. hardly anyone is gonna do something...yeah this is life i guess. lifeeeeee.... which so many philosophers or religionists"" have been trying to find the true definition of it...they aint really have to.. it's just as simple as a phrase of few words or just a word... FUCKED ? yeaaayeaaa...i sound so pessimistic...and crap.. yeaaaayeaaa..
this world is round.. that's why it's fucked... but i think no matter what size shape color or whatsoever, it will be as fucked as when it's round.. haha..just what the muthaf*cking am i toking bout now... hahaha..yea never qte expect myself to walk on this route again... yeah times u feel life aint tt bad afterall... but i guesss that's quite a dream.. the best thing invented or inspirired or whatsoever has to be music... yeahh keeep the loud music booooming... when ya pissed..pissed and pissed..
ain't really feel like talking bout' the things that have just happened... or should i? so perhaps...u know..look back and reminisce on such crapp..yeah..so where should i begin..yeah i guess let mua talk bout' the zj thing first.. omg..now even the initials tend to irk me.. hahaha...what the fuck has become of me. yeah yeah..actually nothing much bout this.just that few days back.. i feeel so... bound by this hatred..just wanan fucck it off. this darn thing caused me to not be able to study at all.. yeah fcukshit.. it all sparkled thanks to arthur's infamous big mouth and my science practical. yaa..it's true that ur enemies...love to derive joy and laughter from your u know...bad moments. i kinda screwed my chem practical... and yeah.. thanks to the big mouth.. the news spread like wild fire...to anybody who knows me.. yeah..and that u know.. asshole.. not the big mouth..laughed and was over the moon bout it.. yeah... he's another person u might find on the streeet who loves to smirk at his enemies' misfortunes.. yeah.. when he himself aint doing that well or good.. yeah.. well i guess there must be a mix of differnt people with different characters...yeah.. some with.. thick skin...and.."unshame".. yeaaah.. and i kinda chided the fat pig offf.. as in on msn.. which seems to suggest a bit gayness.. but since.. i was kinda prompt by mR. austen.. and perhaps unwittingly by one or 2 other friends.. yeah..i went online.. and kidna reprimmanded him.. sad. couldnt quite control it.. or else..i would have waited to a day.. when we meet in school..i would... yeah.. get hell yeah pissed and start a verbal fight. yeah u shou;d have known that a physical fight is best to avoid as.. yeah.. he weighs 90 kg.. and plays rugby... yeaaa no point getting injured over such u know.. a sow. he thinks he's damn smart.. he thinks he's dman cute... and he thinks whatever he does and is doing is justifiable..yeah..right..my a**...and he loves to boast of his smartness.. which.. yeah.. doesnt seem to yield of any good results.. and he's very relentless in the things he does.. not exactly in the field of studies.. but more in calling a person. he can bloody hell call and call you for like 6 times? just because u accidentally mislooked that someone called u...or u know... u rather intentionally mislooked it. yeah.. aint it obvious to himself that..u r a pest and nobody wants to pick up ur call.. what an asshole in an asshole. yeah im like super crude and mean.. but yeah.. the intensifying feelings i go through..probably u wun understand.. yeah...and this brings me back to the time..when he and i seem to be better friends..which of cause... i guess im blind during tt period of time. he will keep on ask me to call audrey and ask her out or.. ask her to come online.. and yeah i fooolishly gave the nod..and so i asked her. and yeah.. i got screwed by her. yeaa..she gave me a scolding. i cant believe i just got manipulated by a pig. so unbelievable... yeaaa.. and many other thigns.. yeaa.. the pain and the misery these fcuking things are putting me through.. yeah..and kinda thanks to austen and khairul them.. they seeeem to add in a bit of spices to my growing dislike for that pig. yeaaa.. i aint blame them.. aint really their fault or what.. cause human nature is just like that.. yeah yeaah.. and when u seem to tell people ur problems.. i guess it's kinda quite better off solving them yourself. not really true all the times..but i guess that's simply the way u feel..at that point of time.. and everything people say and do seem to confuse me so muccch. and oh yeaa.. i broke off friendship with HAHA! guess who... yeaa the person i always advertise... SF. yeah.. actuallly i didnt really wanna tell it directly to her.. cause it seems.. u know gay and.. not determined. so yeah i just secretly deleted eveyrthing.. her hp no. her hse no. her msn contact..yeah foreevrer from the surface of this earth. and she has to soo conincidentally msg me online.. just at the moment when i feel damn bloody pissed. cos it's like for the past few months i only communicated with her few words. yea..we aint really contacting each other.. but whu gives a f***? yeaaa.. and at first things got a bit sore..but then she has to msg me later something like this --> " i think ya in a bad mood..chat with ya next time then!" yeah.. this was the line..that made me wanna tell it directly to her. cos i aint wanna continue this friendship. and i aint wanna chat or talk or whatsoever with her next time. cause i think that she aint tt simple.. as in.. i feel that she has a mind of vengeance.. too.. as in she will probably gang up in some plot to affect those ppl she hates. yeah..perhaps it's my misjudgement..but i aint really exactly like the way she does things. yeah and of cause the biggest reason is that assssshole. it aint nothing wrong with her going back to him. but the point is that that guy is a real fucked up. and..yeah like what i said i aint like the way she handles things and she aint tt simple. not that.. the earth doesnt have a lot of this kind of ppl..yeah.. i guess they r the first which made me feel that way so yeah.. hell yeaaaa...muthafcuk them off.. bbbwaahahahahaahahahaaa!!
yeah with so much hatred and stuff going on.. aint it tiring.. ppl may say... but.. it really aint tt easy to just lift up this weight ...and throw it away... i feel burdened by it too.. and yeah like what austen says... u are allowing that guy to control ur thoughts.. yeah tt's absolutely true.. but it's just this hatred thing that accumulates... yeaaa.. tt's why...this world is kinda or very screwed up. so maybe it aint a bad idea for the terrorists to blast this whole damn place up. yeaa yeaa.. guess im quite done with this entry..aint really much to say bout..and perhaps..the next time im writing.. in will most probably be after my biggest examination is taken to date.. yeah... seeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaa diarrrry... bUh~bYE

cREEd, mATCHBOx tWENTy, 3 dOORs dOWn, sUM 41, L/P, nICKELBACK rocks on!

2004-10-23T10:01:00.000+08:00

24tH sEptEmber... |im pEi's buRfDae !.!.! checkcheck it out..!!!

2004-09-25T10:03:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
yoYOyoYOyoYO!!! =P. Just here to type bout'.... of cause.. my bUrfDaE! finallllly...im siXteen..freee to watch nC-16 movies...but now that i can watch nC-16..i wanna watch M18...= hahaa.. yeah.. woah! it has beeen like i think 6 years since my birthday was on a friday...again..hMMMmmm.. this year's birthday in all..was not so bad.. better than the previous 3 yearsss..yeah!i!i!i!. But sad sad..today it's 25th sept.. no longer my birthday..haiiizzzzahaahahahaa! yeah nutty case here.. anyway..please let mua.. elaborate on yEEesterday!
Haiya lemme talk bout's thursday night..the eve of my bUrfdae..which is most disappointing..sigh! yeah.. on that day i was damn beat...eXhausted.. wanna sleep at like 8+ , 9 pm..but forced my way through all the way to 12 am..for 2 reeasons (1) catch my birthday arrival..(2) see whooo so nicee to sms me " happy birthday!!" but sadly...only one person messaged me tht..which is Xin yI. ~~~> [ She messaged me this forward msg..with the words "wishing BEaRy happy 16 birthday! =) ]i quite expected both people to message me..one of which is of cause Xin yi..the other is SoOOOoK fUn..but sad case she didnt. so yeaaa. And the next morning when i woke up... i didnt feel like WOW! YEAH!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! haha i felt like... SiAn..Another Day oN eARth... mY 16Th BuRfDae.. yeah.. but after i washed up, etc... i received sms from nIColE ..who messaged me.. this picture message. ~~> [ yoyo...birthday boy..happy sweet 16..finally you can watch nc-16 movies le hor..congrats eh.. ] hahaha...thought i watched a nc-16 movie when i was 14 .. = But nevertheless thanks for her message..made my day happier a bit.cause i didnt really epect her to msg me..thought she will forget it becasue..the last time she greeted my birthday was 2 years back if my mEmoRy didnt fail me..yeah.. so it was a rather pleasant surrprise! And thEn...the next person on the list..to so ssoooo nicely msg me is.. mR. BoBBy. my maths tutorrr!! hahaa..he messaged me..~~~> [ Aloha..hapy birthday! Enjoy yourself today. And also, when u go home, remember to look for your treasure ok? Happy treasure Hunting. ŰŰ ] haha didnt kidna expect him to be sooo nice to send me a msg either... and when he mentioned bout treasure..i was like huh ?¿? what talking him..haha..i still thought he talking bout those kind of treausre as in..finding ur happiness those kind..lolZ..and little did i know he was actually tlaking bout a present!! yeah.. i only knew it when i reached home late night yesterday.. he hid it under my study table..hahaa..it's this Pierre Cardin Black Roller ball pen..stainless Steel. haha.. sooo mature-like right. nvm like i think i can fit it.. hahaha..! just kidding..yeah but it looks like he u know.. ppl give him he never use..yeah..then give me!! hahaha.. but one sweet thing is that he actually bothered to go engrave my name on it. hahaa..not that it's expensive..but the tHought..i guess sossooo! but the presents counts more!! haha.. Yea...im gonna use this pen for olevels.. =P..And the next next person on the gReeting list is Agnes! hahaa.. this lady here..i also didnt expect her to rmb! she surprised me with a smss... at 11/32 a.m. with a message that goes like this..~~~> [ jasoOn.. happy b`day ya.. hOpe u'll get what u want in this year.. :) ] this one her present has gotta be her sms! because she resides in jaRkaRta..so yeah..her present is the sms! haha..cause international sms-es are more expensive right.. yeah bout' 25 or 50 cents.. so yeahaaa!! i asked her last night "how did u come to know it's my birthday?" sooo she said.." i saved it in my mobile" whahaahahahahahaas! yeaaa yeaaa now the next one on the list iss.. my AuNtiE rUth! she gave me this...ang bao... the night before..but she sent me a sms on my birthday .. what's impt. is the thought..i guess..and the thought i like..cause it's a 50 DOLLARS thoguht!! muahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!! hahaa menacing laughter. yeah and my aH mA..also gave me.. a $100 ang bao!! my mummy..bought me an ICE ~ CreAm cakeee mango - tango flavoured... from Sweensens! and my daddy gave me...a $200 hong bao! woooohooooo!!! shiok right? hahaa.. okok lah ;) . and the next one on the msn list is.. soOoooooOk fUN.. she sms-ed me at 1.41pm. yeah her msg was ~~~> [ happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to jason! Happy BirthdaaAaaaAaay toOoOoOooOo yoOoOoOou! Muack! Sorry no present fer ya. haha ] yeah her msg. sad..man sent so late..when i expect her to be one of the first few..but i guess she can be quite excused.. since she has amaths paper the next morning.. so gotta sleep early to have a clear mind. Orh yeah another unxpected person to greeet me burFdAe is pEi yIng.. illusion_star@hotmail.com haha.. shee msged me on the eve of my birthday.. via msn " hey.. i still rmb what's on tml.." haha..but too bad back then i was sNooooZing!! and when i woke up she was offflinee..yeah but nevertheless i sent a sms of thank youS to heer.. =). And the next one was..Gita! aGnes' Friend..and vice versa..lOlz.. she msg-ed me at 6.17pm. haha this one she rmbs my birthday i guess it;'s because our birthdates are side by side.. lolz.. her is on 23rd sept. so yeaaa! her message was ~~~~> [Happy 16th bUrFdae! It's ur turn now =P May all your wishes n dreams come true! hehes ] hahaa eyah ! Another person to greet me birthday was Qiiuyin' ! via msn lah. she didnt know it was my birthday... but my msn nick revealed all i guess ;) haha.. is it on purpose?? hmmm... =P it's for me to know and for you to find out.!. hahaha..and... the last one to grreet me if im not wrong..is Cheryl. hahaa... she's another one i quite expect her to greet me..as in the first few ones..but nopee..didnt happen..so yeah. in fact when she msged me.. it was 0:01 am by my handphone clock.. maybe it's 0:00 am on her clock? yeah.. so it's not my birthday anymore.. or perhaps did she got muddle headed and thought yesterday 12 midnight was my birthday? hahaa..oh yeah! i forgot bout my friends in school.. austen was the one to greet me birthday! quite touched lah. cause it's like in the morning.the moment he came into class he said "happy birthday" haha.. then came along..daniel loy... arthur lim... kum long not really.. yeah..some of which messaged me via msn to wish me ..again..hahaha..and they r others like khariul...yong chien...moses.. who greet birthday after they know..haha yeaaah...
and for dinner.. went to Spring Court [ sounds like some prostitute brothel or what right.. but it's a resaturant .= ..]..dad spent $360 ++ bucks..on the dinner.. so yeah..ok lah this year's birthday... thought throughtout the day some period i was kinda grouchy cos... the way some thigns are arranged..bout the dinner..but nevertheless..things went quite well! hope i didnt miss out anyone who has greeeted me happppy birthday!!! =D. but the weird thing this year is that.. the ppl who i thought will msg me... or msg me first... happy birthday apparently.. 90% didnt. whereas those i thought won't..actually did. so yeaaa.aaa..aa.a.a.a. = yeah.. sad right? =
...anyway... i guess that sec 4 year..is the the best year.. and... crap lah. sound so silly me. okokokok...time to gooo...stayed online for so long..eyeballs wanan drop out already kkk... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeZ ~!

It's the one thing you can't run you can't hide FATE

2004-09-21T21:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
doubt i will type a long entry. kinda beat. so yeah not much energy left... but nevertheless jsut wanna type down some stuff. yeah... today.. gernerally the day was not bad.. quite good... unexpectably good...
So yea lemme begin this beautiful day of mine.. THe morning wasnt tt good.. cos i woke up all moody and stuff thanks to last nigh... so yeah.. i made my way to school via cab... and first 2 periods were P.E played touch rugby again..but i was like u know hardly ran..cause kinda sian.. haha and im like donno... lah.And thanks to the Naish Navin Samson.. held on to my foot..while i wanted to run and so i fell. and he like didnt evben notice tt..wtf..not tt it's some big ting..lah but kjust wanan type out for fun..mauahahahahahah!! i do things need to have the right mood..yeah.. then after tt... we have physics lessons and so for lah.
the rest of the day was not so bad.. because i guess i was like talking to kum long and austen all the time. haha they are both just lik sitting behind me..side by side... ever since i changed seats..wow! my life has changed for the better. it's no longer so boring..at least now i have ppl to crap to..yeah.. goood 4 me..thank god..and thank god today no remedials... so can hell with it.. the crap thing is that the Mr phoon doesnt wanan reveal the artifact and folio marks..wtf. it's like the best subject..so u wanna know the results right..boost ur morale a bit..yeha..but he's holding back..wth..sigh..!! so yeah...after skool... austen, zhe yin, khairul, kum long..we procceeeded to tP interchange to makan lunch..yeah yeaaah..
Then at the bus stop..suay...saw tt kuku... u know the guy with the Z and J name. sian..then arthur asked me "where you going?"...then i just bochup bochup replied "somewhere on this earth" ..and so he replied.." ask u nicely..like that sya... wth.." something like that lah..yeah dont really care anyway.. cos this arthur ass... cant really interpret things well anyway.. so heck with him.. and so yeah.. we makan makan..then after tt went on to macdonalds to study..
yeah not bad of a view today... saw u know..cute gurs..who r simply so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee!! saw this cedar gur not bad..cute cutee..slender..tall for gur... and short skirt! wooooohoooo!! =D everyday is a happy day! yeah and so we studied till 4+ pm..when i saw someone... guessss whoooo?? Audrey..!!! hahaha.. what a surprise... cause we were like sitting at the corneer... and the table faces the outside ... then suddenly..at the corner of my eye..i saw.. a gur.. in greyish uniform..and carrying a orangey reddy bag..hahaa..then i turned my head to secure a good look..and biNgo! it's audrey!! with her "kor" . haha u know tt Barker guy.. yeah.. since she so like to call him kor..i also cant say much lah don't rreally bother with it anyay after since tt pissing off episode..thanks to arthur lim again...and a bit of audrey. sigh.. immaturee...immmature..ahahah nto tt im sooo mature lah anyway. anuyway yeah i guess it's kinda u know fate thing too.. to bump into her twice... tt explains my nick! amazing...right. But strangely i didnt expect her.. cause wheneever im gonna say bump into a person i know on the streeets or what i would have this feeling in my head the whole day reminding me tt im gonna meet someone..i know. and the feeling seems to be accurate at least 70% of the time.. yeah.. just like on sunday.. i told my sister im gonna bump into someone i know..and hell yeah..i did bump into someone..this waterpolo playher guy... zzz... yeah.. but today id ddint have tt feeling..so i was u know.. kinda shocked..But actually i did like u know.. think " perhaps i might meet her... " cause it's tuesday... and she has piano leesssons on tt particular day... and around 5pm like that..so yeah.. the possibility of bumping into her actually is kinda high..
haha yeah tt's the end of my story...anyway today is a plesant day..yeah i think i gonna doze off... tired..Xhausted..yeah..eyelids are dropping... ming is shutting... body is weaking.. haha .. wtf right.. yeah.. to end.. lemme say.. EVERYDAY IS A HAPPY DAY! haha.. yeah i guess i have turned nutty....seeeyaaaaa.....miSSy dIary!

This i lay down. Risk it All. Fuck it all.

2004-09-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
Once again and again, the thoughts overflood me. So much thoughts and all going around me eveyrday every second evyer milisecond or microsecond of my life. i jsut cant seem to get the engine starting. to fucking shit get my book and start studying. and today im kinda worn out. and somehow.. my mood turned for the worst later on in the night which is Now. just sian of eveyrthing again. sian 1/2.
But the dya was not so bad. perhaps. as in after school.. Moses, Austen, Khairul, Kum long and i went to mAc's for lunner. lunch + dinner. yeaaah.. we talkerd lots... and on the wya home..moses..talked to me bout stuff his hosue and stuff. yeah..interesting.. i guess things just sucka all the way.
Right now listening' to Hillsongs - Centre of my life. don't know why but just wnana keep replaying again and again. guess it's the kidna sad feeling it rubs off onto you.
Shucks. sometimes u just wnana muthafucking take a knife and trhust it all the way in to someone. yeah.. insane.. mutha fuck. what the fuck... too boring this shit. this fucking gnikcuf shit.
Doubt i will wanna write any more. anyway . Venezia this brand of ice cream is darn good. leaves a soothing cool feeling . yeah so bloody hell.. fucking get one and try it. yeah. cyAAAAA.

1000s of thoughts ... ... ...

2004-09-12T02:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
this whole of holidays practically i don't feel that good at all. Sigh. whatthefuck. when it's uspposed to be hols, and after our prelims, all my friends are like.. at home. i just feel like saying boring shit. and yes. i guess i just said it. BORING SHIT. And nowadays it seems that my mood is getting worse and worse... i just seem to steer to the moodier, sadder, angrier side more often. and school hols are gonna end soon..and soon enough in just 2,3 days..all the results are gonna be told to us..and i think yeah. im quite doomed. DOOMSDAY. oh shucks. i just feel so low.
Yeah right now it's 2:19am judging from the clock on my comp. yup.. im kinda like listening to 90.5fm...nicer than class 95 i think. for the time being. while having this acne-treatment mask thing on my face while typing out this entry..yeah. and i just kinda talked with nicole online. starting.. it was like.. i don't really wnana talk much cause..as my last entry said.. it's like.. i let my moods to get into her..as in i show her a bit of attitude prob. why make other ppl's lives miserable right? so yeah.. at first i was talking at a rather conservative mode. but in the end i just simply heck it away cause it's like..HEY! that's sooo not me. cause im those super talkative type... yeah.. then..i started to turn moody after she typed "lousy" that word. towards my typing " my house does not have condensed milk". caus we were talking bout sleepless nights and she giving the suggestion of condensed milk to rid of it. so yeah. after tt "lousy" word..i don know what got into me..i just simply like got moody..and gave her. really bad replies. u know. one word replies. yeah and any idiot will be able to sense it. that's why someone do human race a favour. get rid of me.
or perhaps..do me a favour..find me a nice place to settle in..whereby..i do not have to face anything... in this world...a place of my own. a mind of my own. an universe of my own. selfish me own. many times just wish to be with myself so i don't have to give attitude to anybody..except myself.. shucks im such a sinful person. yeaaaah.. shucks i hardly have the mood to evn type longer...anyway these few nights i cant sleep well..shucks...another WOW! of this hols.. wtf. shucks i think i better just drift to sleep somehow or other... yeaaa.. cos it's getting pretty late and tml i have to get up for church..
i hope i can rmb clearly everything..that i have thought before.. since i cant write everything down. cause i wanna go thru them every now and then.. hahaa.. i guess only me can understand this weird alien language of mine. One of a kind language. yup. i call it the Blacklistor Language ;). hey.. i think that this term is realy quite cool.. blacklistor..hmmm... okok seeeeyaaaa diary.. sweeeet dreamS. byeeeeeeeeeeee!

This Anguish i shall bear for life, eternity and forever.

2004-09-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
hellloooo..isn't it weird..how much one can have on his mind..and yet.. don't know how to put them down in words? yeah.. i have like so much things going on..around..in my head..yet.. it's like..so much till u donno which to write first..or even.. so much till ya brain is so confused..and ya don't know what to write at all..
I think today is a bad day...perhaps? i woke up at 9 am... and was at dad's office at by 11am to start working. as in help out.. at the CNC machines... and stuff. yeah.. the work dragged on till 6+ pm..yeah was kinda pissed. cause..i did till a bit of my skin at the thumb tore off... my wrist aching like shit.. and.. back aching.. cause i stood for 6 hours... yeah.. actually it's no big deal..i guess i just love to be so whiny..and complain bout' it. then yeah.. i have like tution at 8 pm.and tt kinda pissed me off more. cos.. my mom at first was reluctant to cancel the tution.. cos boobby says... cancellation of tution must be advanced.. of 2 days.. or else ..the fee will be as usual.but in the end..mom was not reluctant to cancel at all.but by then i was pissed. so i decided hell with it. lemme have the tution. lemme get more pissed. yeah.. im kinda those kind.. who loves to get tortured more. so in the end.. i was extremely rude to my mom.. didnt bother replying her and eveyrthing and left the office... yeah..what a hell yeah fucker i am.. a total bastard.. i don't know why..but.. i just cant control my temper..especially at my mom..when she's the nicest to me.. so yeah.. better don be too nice to me.. and so.. i walked on and on... out of kolam ayer industrial estate till... potong pasir NEL.. there..the 142 bus service bus stop..yeah.. where i used to take bus rides. i htink i walked about 2km? this really reminds me of the days.. when i attended my relative's HONG CHYE..tution.. i used to be real nutty..and walk walk walk... for like... 3km... or 4 i think... just realy insane... sigh.. i think im really a insane fucker. and furthermore..throught out the whole dya i was blasting myself with music.. loud music..yeah..i call it the BLASTED EARS.. and when i go home..things didn;t really quite get better.. tution was okay... cause i joked around with Bobby.. but..i was like rather slacky..hardly do anything... yeah so another reason to gun me donw. then after that.. i bathed... and things seem to get better.. and after i bathed.. i called up nicole.. cause i didnt wanna sms.. for 2 reasons.. (1) my handphone is like fuck... the buttons screwed up and stuff.. smsing is a drag. (2) save the dough..bread... the $$. and yeah we talked.. and.. i got screwed up..yeah.. of cos..the fault lies with me .. yeah.. then i was like..hardly talking.. in fact i "paused" for like 4,5 mins? tt's real bad..and she was nice enough to stay on the phone.. yeah.. im just a fucker.. another good reason to take M-16..or whatever gun available on earth to pull the trigger at me.. and yeah.. somehow.. i got damn pek..and didnt wanna tok at all.. and thank god..she didnt send me any sms .. as in..sms " dont be too pek or what" .. cos.. i don wanna. yeah..mayb i shouldnt sms or call her.. what a torture i am. tt's why.. i yearn to live in a world of my own.. with no one.. except myself..and the nature... so i don have to think this and that..and so i don have to make life miserable for others and myself.
im so scared that i might become like last time.. when i get so pissed..i simply become anti social... and the pissing thing doesnt come for a dya...but many days.. and it really sucks. and yesterday was another bad day. oh shucks.. i don even wanna tok bout it. it kinda gets real sick when u keep on type negatige things out.. tthat's why i guess.. i type lesser... when im in a foul mood. and oh yeah.. i came up with a darn cool nick...* at least tt's wht i think..* for my msn.. ::: -> With what he has, he takes it on, and fucks it all <-... yeah.. i was thinking how to phrase my emotions into the nick..and i don wanan be too personal by writing "i" in it.. so i decided to use an imaginary character.."he"... haha yeah..
sigh.. it feels comforting to listen to sweet love tunes..with the darnkess of the night.. accompanied with the silence... it makes u feel.. i donno how to explain this feeling.. but.. it makes u feel like.. ur troubles and urself...have been taken together to another...realm like that.. to another place.. and slowly... u will drift sorrowfully into sleeep..
yeah that's perhaps why i so love to listen to class 95fm at night... :P.. im at a loss to write anything.. oh yeah.. i got so many things i wanna get.. hope on my burfdae..somehow..or other..they will appear..hahaha... i doubt i can enjoy this burfday.. cos prelims results come out.. im hell yeah gonna fuck myself. ever since..sec 1... a burfdae never really felt like a burfdae.. i guess i just cant learn how to be happy.. i wanna get a new handphone.. a digicam... some nice CDs... a watch... a wallet.. shucks.. so many things i wanna get...
i guess i shall just write till here... let me end with a song.. {Michael Bolton: I can go the distance}.... Good Night My Diary,...

Never thought today could be a happy day...

2004-09-05T01:14:00.001+08:00

Deariestiest Diary,
heyoX. it's me again after a pretty long period of time. yaah. now that it;s already september and the hols have finally arrived for us to rest our minds..yeahs..! and that my prelims have finally ended too..thank god..but yeah the results when out.. sigh... i already know one of my results and it;s like f***. 51/100 for emaths paper 2. wtf results is tt ..when amos timothy lin a super slacker..who usually sucks at studies can get 66/100... i must as well chop my head off. anyway off with the bad things. let's talk bout the good thigns . yeah yeah.. bout today!
today is a saturday.. rmb-0ed last night i was real beat and home alone. and i kinda feell asleep at 10 pm while being online. so i woke up at 5 am suddenly to swtich off the comp..lols... and the comp read " 9 hrs...++ " online b4 i disconnected. haha.. then one hr later 6am i was supposed to wake up to prepare to go for dnt ..but u know being me.. i shut the noisy alarm off and went back to sleeeep..i was real tired...all the energy drained out of me..so u know gotta replenish.. yeah then the next timing i waoke up.... to my surprise and great shock.. it's already 10 am..and so i quickly cheong everythign as fast as possible..then managed to get to skool at 11.40am. which is silly. cos.. workshop dnt workshop closes at 12pm. but nevertheless i tried to get some work done. and btw i went down so i wun feel that guilty..haha.. and surprisingly while i was not there Mr. tan didn't go around... asking my friends "where's that jason? im gonna hang him!!" hahaz.. but anyway when i got there..somehow or other he found me..and i kena.. $#%$#@$#@$@#$#@ haah.. so i said.. "sir... better late than never.." hahahaa.. true right? then after that.. supposedly .. malcolm..austen..hong hin we all makan at KFC kallang food centre..but.. austen like say sian..don wan cos he hates tt place.. then i like okok don mind can follow him to tp toa payoh.. but then he said again.. 2 ppl eat like damn gay.. which is quite true to an extent..so in the end.. austen and i tried to persuade loy dan loy to eat with us . then loy was like.. donno lah cos his church friends..wiated for him quite long already..then.. he called up his friends lah to ask whether can wait longer not and whwether they makan lunch already not.. so yeah.. then since they also havent then ON manx.. so austen loy me..went to makan with loy's friends.. while hong hin and gang ate ate KFC.. then.. we ate at mOs bUrger.. and loy's friends turned out to be..a gur..and a boy! the boy same age as us..16..those hip hop style.. but nice guy.. and the gur.. 20 yrs old..lols..look more like 15 to me..this part was one of the best part of the day... cos i like kidna get to know more ppl... and talked a bit with that gur.. as in..she asked me questions.. then i ans lah. but to me..it's like.. if i get to know more ppl... my life wun be tt sian im sure.. i mean as in tt i wun be like.. so.. u know f-ing up at times.. yeah.. so it was really nice that u get to know more people.. anyway.. yeah.. i ate up sized meal super full... yeah.. and the gur said i look like those hip hop personality! wow! i was quite flattered..haha.. yeah so i kinda decided that at the end of yr ..perhaps.. or must.. i go u know learn some..cool dancing stuff.. yeahS..cos it's quite of my interest..u know..those breaka stuff.. yeah..!
yup yup..that's the end of the first part of the day..then after which i went to kIMAGE to cut my hair... yeah finally. from a ugly hair..to a ful of twisted spikes hair!! yeah!! yipeeeeeeeeeeee!! =D. tthen i kidna like chatted with the hairsylist called fanny .. yeah chat with her and stuff.. so in whole the day was quite good... then later i went NTUC with mom..to buy stuff..which is sooo damn blarrrdy heavy.... wtf.. dman waited like 40 mins for dad... sigh..this is the worst thing... yeah..
but but but!! afterwards.. i went out wiht moses... to go to LightHouse church! the healing service! yeah.. when moses first saw my hair...the twisted spikes..he was like.. "wah! stylo ar..." haha... then.. like that..yeah had a quite fun time wiht moses..as in.. chat quite a fair bit iwht him.. yeah.. then went to the service together... makan dinenr togetehr and stuff..yeah and he was blarrdy funny..lolz... yeah.. real fun time today..
sigh..but one thing bad is that i seem to treat my mom so bad when...she's like the nicest to me..sigh im screwed up.. yeah.. that's bout it. yawn!! so tired..2 am alreadi..better go offline..sooon soooon..now!! nighty nights diary!

Insane Fucker

2004-08-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
In short, Today and everyday is fucking day. Fuck this day. fuck the world. for all i care. You just really feel damn frustrated. damn fucking angry. Angry beyond ur motherfucking words. Blasting the house with fucking loud music. Linkin park - With you playin in the hi-fi. There's so much fucking shit that i wanna fucka bout. Firstly, i got a fucking b3 for my chinese o levels . fuck it. This actually affected me a bit only. because i know i cant expect more. cos for my oral the examiner is like so dman nice to give me a distinction and for that i cant be more grateful . cos for the oral i rmb-ed i sucked like fuck. so yeah.
Another thing in mind is that. everyone gotta like fucking compare me with the motherfucked ZJ. obviously not everyone. but few is enuff to make u fucking sore. im damn fucking pissed by it.
And i think everone is fucked up. Look at Arthur. whole day only know how to fucking shit tok bout wht "jacked, so shuddup". it's damn fucking irritatin. so fucking shit till i donno how to muthafuck type the fuck thing out. And moses. He's a guy who wants ppl at his back and call. and that sometimes pissed ppl off.
Fucking shit.. i donno just so much fucked shit to write. and so fucked piss till cant write another word more. so yeah. FUCK THIS WORLD.
Bye.

e Pleasant 'n' Unpleasant Surprises life can bring!

2004-08-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

helllo dearie diary!!
just thought of writing an entry not a really long one though since now it's rather late...and tml's a skool day and yeah..prelims are approaching..oh no!! =(. and i kinda studied 2 hrs of social studies which is enuff to give me mental hernia. and the pathetic shit is that i covered a miserable 12 pages long only. and i complied everything into 2 pages.hahaz. seec 4 work! yeah.. tough life. hahaz. today this retired teacher... Mr. Yee. came to tell his grandfather stories and stuff again to us during a relief period. he's an old boy of our skool thoh. what he says realy can captivate u as in glue u to his speech. he speaks with such awe..hahaz.. i mean like enthusiasm..yeahz..and he said the same thing..u gotta study.. 10 yrs of hard work skooling make sure...u finish the race well..and he quoted 2 sayings!. they r... " The spirit is alive, but the flesh is not." and "It is not how you start the race but how you finish it" something like that one lah. the first one is saying bout..u having the spirit to fight on but lack phyisical ability to carry out the things u wanna do. and the second one is of cos.. toking bout u... finishing off well lah.
Anyway...actually the things i wanan type out today... is not really those above lah durh! firstly lemme say ..bout my dream last night.. i had the longest...dream ever!! and it's...bout mC.! i cant really believe it myself too..but yeah..i dreamnt of her..from like..the start of the night...to morning.. such a long dream K! i didnt rmb much bout the dream but had a vague..impression of something like..she was upsetted..by her bf..then i console her.. then she started likin me a bit?!?! hahaz..actually i also not sure coz really cant rmb anyffin. yeah..then after the dream i miss her so much..Kz.. sigHz.. yeah.. actually i kinda thoht of her last night b4 i slept..but didnt really xpect me to dream of her so long... =).
And ya! another thing i gotta say is.. E pleasant surprise life can bring! not to mention the unpleasant ones too..=P. anywya.. yeah..today after dnt...workshop i went tp interchange ..to take mrt right? dUrh! then... i was like walking into the mrt interchange..then from afar..i saw this... greyish- clothed...school girl... and she looks so much like..Audrey k!! hahahz..then it was like kinda weird and funnnie..cos.. we were like..giving each other distant...occassional stares!! cos we like.."hey..he looks she looks ffamiliar... is he..is she..who i know he she is ???" hahaz.. then after we enterted thru the ticket gates..then..i was like wnana go right up to tt gur..and u know..take a good look..then she turned around.. and was like..looking back..then i went up to her and say.."hey!hahaz..what a ............................... surprise" actually wanna say "unpleasant" but..hahaz nvm..i was joking anyway. it's kinda pleasant anyway =). then.. she was like " hey..take with me this direction..the mrt" i mean u know her pattern.. so yeah then i was bored..don wanna go home alone..so yea..i took with her..to dohby ghaut.. then.. she thoht i was going to stay in the train..but i kinda.. got outta the train and chased up to her and say "oie! nv wait one.." hahaz. yeah..then i took with her to Outram..mrt station..=P. it feels good or nice..to like see her. hahaz.. i don like her of cos..just that.. it's nice..to see her..every now and then. =P. yeahz...tt's all i wanan kinda say.. mayb im desperate for female company...!! hahaz.. but it's really much nicer if u have some female companion or wotsoevr... as in..friends..gf..or whatever!. anyway it was really a pleasant surprise..cos..every tuesday..i kinda hope to bump into her..cos she has piano lessons..at tp... every tues...at 5pm...till 5:45 liddat..then.. u know..i have dnt..and stuff..yeah.. but i thought it must be really fate tt we bumped into each other! hahaz.. not big fate or wot durh..but just a small little fate thing. =). just hope to see her every now and then ;). hahaz.. no feelings attached but feels goood to see her! hahaz.. so yeah that's bout. it.. that's why..it's really fate and destiny..that brings u to one person..but whether u can maintain the relationship or wotsoeerv depends soley on u! =S. hahaz..jason's cock and bull Theory..lolz..
Haiya i think i go sleep first already..nighty niteZ! and btw.. u-14 rugby...ppl better win tml!! so can have half day..haha! luv ya diary!

让风咻咻咻嘲笑我的爱...让风咻咻咻送走我的爱...

2004-07-26T18:13:00.000+08:00

=( diAriEz... =(

2004-07-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

dEar dIary..
yeah im here..again..=( well..well..yeah miNg cHuan has a bf alreadi..and yeah..sadly enuff it's not pathetic me. =X. it happens to be some other guy which i have no interest in knowing. =X. yeah.. it's another guy.. and they got togehter last sunday.. bet the guy would have been real happy yeah.. yeah she only told me when i asked her that question again..u know..i asked her " how much chance do i really have.." then she relplied..." wot if i told u i have stead alreadi.."..when i first saw the msg...i didnt really feel much cos i kinda...epected she will never like me...who will anyway right? hahaz..so yeah.. then yeah i started drowning myself in rock music..and telling whoever is concerned..that mc has a bf..so yeah.. and i feel numb... but.after a while.. the numbness seems to wear off..and that's when..i start to feel quite =(...or veyr =(... then i suddenly feel that..i miss her so much now..
yeah..then i deleted away all the messages i kept.. dating few mths back..tilll now.. just don wanan rmb anything..so i deleted every single msg. all these msgs..i have kept for so long... are now.. in the past..haha. and ..today's totally a not that good day..perhaps..i shld have known it will happen. today.. after skool..i came home myself.. i feel so restless... that's why i laid down on the floor..and slept..till 7pm..then i feel so.. restless..that i didnt wanan do anything..so i bathed..watched tv..this movie called " First Kid" quite good show... yeahz.. then came online... played some miniature bball..and.. then msg-ed her.. i even consulted bobby.. my tutor on wot to ask, etc. in case... u know..will have marks deduction hahaz..yeah then that's when the impact came..shiok yeahz..
then this afternoon when i was on my way walking home.. i think i saw james..yeah..my sec 2 tutor..it's like..finally after 2 yrs i saw him again..i not really sure whether is it him..but quite certain.. but yeah.. i didnt call him or wot.. hahaz.
but anyway.. nicole..very nice lahz..came online..to talk with me.. yeahz.. and u know..say all those stuff..u normally see a friend telling another forlorn friend..hahaz. yeahz..
but.. i guess.. i experienced some happy feelins too..thoh it's one sided..but yeah..some of the dates.. after them..i feel so happy..like i have never felt b4..so yeah..i guess there's the pros and cons.. lolz.. sounds like dnt..hahaz.. yeahz.. i think.. i did better go to bed.. yeah rest early me..when it's like 12 am alreadi..lolz..so..nighty nites..diary..

bAhwAhwAhWahwAhwAh....=( =)

2004-07-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

hiE my dEarEst dIary...!
                Just droppin by to type a quickie..lolz..i mean fast entry! yeah since, im now famished and home alone..cant really do much work..so yeah coming online..to type entry first..=X. hahaz..xcuses and xcuses..gOsh! been a week since i last typed...mMmMmMmMmMmZ... so long right? 7 days already manz! and i have got my grandfather storieZ to say again manz..so yea..mr deariest deary dear dear diary..here it goes..=X okay larhz..lemme tok bout today first first..in the mornign.. got pE mahz..then i thot..there's gonna be a re-run of 2.4km..as the pe teacher Au yOng said larhz..but in the end... 5/6 of the class ended up playing soccer..and 1/6 playing touch rugby! and im like so dead bored...cos i wannted to re-run..but yea don hab..so in the end..went to play touch rugby.. girls' rugby in other words..haahz..kidding. so yeah..played..with ppl like shaun toh..naish...khairul..zhe yin..kenneth..and blahz lahz..so yeah.. at the starting..i was like damn blur b/c it's my first time playing then i donno the rules..donno everything larhz..so yeah..then with sooo little explanation..then just played liddat. =X. starting..i got damN blur...passed ball to wrong teammate..passed forward..and anyhow walked here and there..yeahz.. so =(. hahaz... but after a while..i finally know how to play! =X. then yeah.. i scored twice... AMAZING... not tt it's difficult to score.. but u know..hard to imagine i can actualy score..then yeah.. i fell too. =Z. almost..closed to the touching line..yeah then.. 2 guys touched me..then i ownself..jerk jerk jerk..and fell onto the floor..=X. yeah..but it was quite fun time playing..!..!..!.. then after which got physics..then geo..then during geo lesson..so lucky manz me..just happened to roll the soccer ball a bit..under the desk.then the teacher threatened to confiscate =X. then i just ... =S. so yeah...then after that the rest of the lesson...u know the usual crap n bullshit...but yeah we got english common test today..paper 2. and the paper...donno wtf it is writing..cant comprehend a single sentence wth..then..i ended up sleeping the first 15 mins...spent...the rest..lazily..slowly..doing the rest of the quesitons..i anyhow do..cos aint give a f*** to a paper which i cant even understand wth it's writng..and furthermore..im damN tirred..manz..=X. then after that it's dnt.. yeahz..and nowadays..kum long keep on tell me..wot.."Still slack lah.." and " ur dnt..like do nothing...and folio supposed long ago hand in.."..yeah..i acted like okok lahz..normal..but actually it's kinda getting on my neerves..so hope yeah..he will shut his mouth..=X. hahaz..like so mean right? donno larhz..then i went home myself again...zzz..wotta..bore..then i went to get The Calling, Two album..thought it would be some gr8 stuff..but turned out to be a con CD...yeahz...so tt's all for today manz!...
                oH yeah..did i mention that i toked to kum soon? i mean as in..try to make conversation.. cos it was after skool...and got extra lessons..and kum soon was like sitting other side of the canteen..and something..somehow..just told me..that i must talk to him right now..and make a bridge bet. him and me..as in frienship..yeah..and i don hoope tt u know..the same crap happen again..becos of a gur and then..yeah...but anywya..i went right up to him..and toked.. " hey kum soon..can tok not?" then he said "tok wot" so i said..."friend friend tok lahz.." ... at first..he looked at me like wan eat me up..but later..he like..gimme the "donno look" but yeah..in the end..i walked away..so yeah..tough life..it always seems that i have gotta be the person to take the first step in any dispute..sigHz..but yeah in the end..ks and i still tt dao. i mean as in never talk lahz.. so yeah ...
              And..yst..suddenly i feel so confused..and kinda pek..over miNg cHuan again..cos it's like for the past week.. i have thought of her lesser..and lesser..but yst..everything just seemed to come back..and yeah..i feel so ... confused. i really didnt know wot to do. i wanted so much to ask her bout the question i asked her..the answer... Actually i wanted her to tell me NO...as in.. not i really wanted it. becos u see..if she said YES..then i would have no time to accompany her and stuff..then u know..it's bad rite.. so if she says no... i can forget bout her and everything...but.. i know it will hurt..and tt..im afraid w/o her ... i might not have motivaiton at all...in some aspects lahz..so yeah...so i sms-ed her last..night..have a casual sms tok..then in the end..after few sms-es ..she stopped replying.. yeah..i guess im just not worth that 5 more cents..so yeah..sad case.=X. and i find myself thinking of her more today..yeah..so just wanna say ..." miss you miNg cHuan.." yeah! that's bout it...
          sigHz..my diary like..all bout ming chuan and ming chuan..so boring right..=X...and yeah my dnt...artefact in a mess...wth..better get it fixed up.. anyway i think i better go now..it's 7pm already..gonna take a shower..and..do some stuff...and await for my dinner ! hahaz...yeahz.. nights nights deariest deary dear dear diAry...!...!...!...

Worst day of the Week... Everything's fallin'... !!! sigHz..

2004-07-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

dEar dEar d|ariEx..
here i am again! after like so many days rite... yeah manz. actually i wanna like write an entry 1 week back..but yea..due to u know work and stuff..i got pulled back..evern though right now i ain't that free..but i just wanna write and entry since im like feeling so bloated [full] now..carn do any work at all..must as well write an entry..yeah..=)
Things have been coming quite bad. hahaz. today is a totally scrrewed up day manz..but i don feel tt pissed or wot..cos.. i like more cheerful. but neverhteless the day sucked. =X. lemme explain everything to u manz..here comes the start of "beautiful day"... firstly...i went to skool late..but only like 1, 2 mins late..just b4 the national anthem was played... and i was like supposed to be excused from being booked..but in the end..blooody fark those prefects...booked us all...also..so wot's the point..ZzzzzZ manz. anyway yea..then the first period's amaths..test. gr8 again..cos the moment i saw the 1st Q..i got stunned like shit. but somehow..i managed to scrap up 3 answers for 3 questions..just hope tt i get at least a B4...so yeah..then we had 2 periods of chemistry..hahaz..then 2 periods of physics..thank god it's practical..and.. we got 2 periods of dnt..and once again thank god..cos mr phoon. didnt really have the time to supervise us..so can kinda slack..yeah..hahaz. but thruout the day.. i was real tired... expecially..on the way home... i feel so tired manz..then after skool i got chi o Levels oral..gr8 again..cos..i kinda screwed it up... with the newspaper and daily topic thing..and yea..i think im gonna get a passing mark and tt's bout it .. =(. then at 5pm liddat i was scheduled to have swimming lesson..yeah..then on the way home i was so tired..till like..i carn swim manz.. when i toook the mrt..i even overhsot station.. so yeah. then.. i got home...ate nata de coco...and biscuit..to keep me enegetic..and so yea! it worked! and i went for my swimmign lesson..dadadedumdun..hahaz..then today.. i almost slipped and fall twice..dropped my wallet and my coins started rolling all around.. what a beautiful day.. it is.. =X.
yeah..tt; all for today..and let's tok bout... mC n me!! hahaz.. yeah things are going bad.. cos u know the same thing happened again.. i sms her..she doesnt really repliee..yeah..she's too busy..she say.. but.. yea..got so busy?? =X. but the other time she told me..she's really tired and worn out by all the uncountable remedials..so u know..being an angel like me.. hahaz.. soft hearted rite..so yeah.. i 4give her.. lolz.. but i feel that u know..we hardly tok and stuff..so we r kinda gonna drift apart.. yeahz. then i feel like..she's delaying the answer to my Q... with all these.. never replies stuff.. haiya i donno larhz.. so whenever if i can..i will call her up.. but whole of last week..i like only called her up once.. and talked for like an hr plus..yea..right now im smsing her.. and eveyrthing seems to suck..sigh..i feel as if..i wasted all my time.. thnking of her.. putting effort into.. chasing her and all.. cos..right now..she's like.. like tt? sighz..damNit..lahz.. sianz..so mayb..heck care lar...since she keep on liddat..sigh..
one im wondering is that.. the Q she asked me last time.." will ur feelings change..or be eternal" .. then, i looked back and ponder..and started thinking..and i wanna like "love" her more..but then if she like don reply my sms and stuff.. and keeps me thinking of her..and stuff.. honestly spekaing...i will break down..i carn take it.. it's damn stressful.. so yea..right now.. im like quite laid back..as in.. don really bother immersing myself into thots of her.. rather be like in the middle middle.. yeah.. what to do rite? =(. pls pls pls..someone tell me what to do!!!!!
anyway..ever since..not so think so muchie bout her.. i saw some cute gurs manz..!! hehez.. specially last nite..when ah ma..mummy..daddy...sis sis and me went iMM. then i saw these 2 sisters at the Long bEach restaurant there..one damn slim..the other...kinda chubby..both have the exact photocopied face..lolz..but the chubby one's sooo cute okie!! so cute!! hehez.. i see liao.. *dRoolin'..* hahaz..but she seems a bit ..stuck up..but nvm.. i went to anderson's ice cream of denmark..to help daddy buy ice creeeeam..then the gur behind the counter's so damn cute ok!! i @@ already really..can faint.. she's soo cuteee!! wot's lovely bout her is tt.. she has the slightly lian cute face..but she speaks.. of those..girls skool english.. totally unlike lian type.. oh man so cute ok!! can fall in luv with sucha cute gur manz..haha.. then i stood there..admiring her..for 2 solid mins..her features..and everything.. i rmb.her having single eyelids...slightly toothed out..with pearlie white teeth...oh man..and..baby smooth skin..gosh!! she's so cuteee!! hahaz.. yeah..i love cute gurs..they r saooo cuteee!!! hahaz.. yeah..and btw.. my sis and i took neoprint yst..then for once finally! i looks quite okay in the ppic! hahaz.. but now i have this zit..which doesnt seem to subside..shucks! and btw im so fair..and tt sucks too..
oh manz..im so tired..think i wanna just sign off heerreee.. dead beat.. my eyes r being strained by the computer screeeen.. shucks still got dnt and crap to do! gosh wotta day! yeah i better go now..cya diary...lUrvE yarh... byeeee..!!

rE: Caught Between 2 words ... Happy 'N' Sad. =) 'N' =(

2004-07-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

DeAr DeAr diAry..!!
So many things happened in the last 3 days K!! =X. Anyway.. i was eating nAtA dE CoCo [rMb-ed once..that miNg cHuan told me she likes it a lot..hehehe..] and ate MarigOld StrawbErrY yOghurt! actually..i miss miNg cHuan a lot now.. but yet..i donno how to tell her.. i mean i carn like suddenly sms to her and tell her "hey..i miss u a lot.." lolz..=X. maybe..someday i would let her see this..diarrry..maybe..show her how i really feel..haha but i doubt that day will ever come..anyway..just now i went to New Creation Church..! the pastor was darn good..can tok and tok..for 2 hrs plus w/o u even realising..that "hey! 2 hrs passed so quickly??" ...he preached on Prophercy...whihc is really very interesting..he told us that ..u don have to fear anything at all..don have to fear bout..terroism..or wotsoever..as long as...u r at the right place and at the right time..of cos..god must put u at the right place and at the right time la..then he gave ltosa real life exampels..super interesting manz..=PpP. eveyrthing he said really make u wonder..mmmmmZ...then after that mom..sis and i..and mom's friends..altogether wenta fooodocurt to eat...then they like wanna shop..then i got pissed off..so in the end. cos i like..has this problem..going aroudn in my head..then now i still like gotta wait for them..to shop and shop..so yeah..i got turned off..so yeah i walked to city hall mrt station..took the mrt..and came home...and 5 mins later i was dozing off at the couch..hahahaz..then woke up..on and off..but persisted on sleeping..lolzz..cos i was real beat and gonna have tution later..so yeah! right now..im onlining..lolzz..and chatting with few pplz..watching teebveee..lolz..
haiya..lemme tok bout friday now ok? cos..my point of even writing..is that i wish to capture every moment..in words..so i can..look back on it..and =)! hahaz.. no lahz..just wanna..write it down..and perhaps look bck on it...say 10 yrs now?? on that day.. skool was half day! and don need study u know..thanks to the...Youth Day! and skool lahz..or else..we would be like.."haiz..not another day.." lolzz.. ton that day i was supposed..to u know..go out with miNg cHuan..hehehez..! so on that day i kinda got things planned..i decided to after skool tag along with arthur..and kum long and loy to go buy ticks first...b4 meeeeting miNg cHuan..becos..i wanna make sure we get the good seats..hehehz..=). [ listening to Ou De Yang Ocean~Xu Xu Xu ] .. so i did followed them..but didnt watch with them then the arthur like a bit pissed..lolz..then the arthur like damn kao pei..u know.. whenever he like kinda..lose out in a quarrel or when he got nuffin to say he always like to comment that i have no friends..and he has so much friends..and he likes to call ppl dumb.. as if he's that smart...=X. yeah and he doesnt wanna change his habit..whihc is tough luck lahz.. too bad.. for him then. =X. so yeah..after buying the ticks..i went home...so tired k!! i wanted to fall asleep..buti know i carn..cause if i fall asleeeep..i know..i sure wake up too late...for the date..so in the end i forced myself to go bathe instead..hahaz.
then after changing and all... i started to preapare for the gift.. i placed the 2 gifts..im gonna give her in this Pepper Plus carrier.. i gave her..that heart shape..infaltable thing.. with the winnie the pooh bear bear in it..hehehez.. it's damn cute ok!! =X. of cos...she's also very cuteee..hehez. then i gave her this bottle..with a piggy printed on it..with starz in it.. thoh the stars are not a lot..only about 12 stars liddat..but each star comes with a message..and i really really really mean it..when i wrote it. i wrote them during the period of 9 days... when i donno what happened to her. then in the bottle too..i rolled up this paper..and put it inside. Inside it..is a drawing of her name..which i did...few mths back..and words..which i wrote ..lotsa words..which i wanna tell her.. ^_^ so i placed everthing nicely..then stuffed the carrier into my bagggie..lolz..then carried it out with me.. i styled my hair..even wore this choker..to look better..hahaz. then so..i went ta take the mrt..to meet her!
Then..i was like waiting there..for her..then..suddenly i saw this girl..wearing black..and giving me that..u know..[typical miNg cHuan face..] lolz..i can rmb..vividly..what she was wearing..hehez. she was wearing this giodarno black polo teee... with a palm leave necklace over her neck..4 diff. colors of crystal studs..on both ears..this roxy skirt i think..those a bit..floppy demin type..with her new adidas shoes..at her feet.. white stripes..pinkish drawing. and her hair was adorned with this baby bluish hair band.. looks cute ok!! =X hahaz.. donno lahz.. she looks nice. *^_^* and orh yeah..she has these shag bands..on her wrists..black 'n' white..yUpz! then we started like smiling..those kinda of luffin smile at each other..lolz..as usual whenever we see each other..but one thing good bout this date is that.. i stopped luffing...haha as in not as frequent as...b4..whenever i look at her..or her actions..=). then we wenta watch spiderman 2!
i donno why..she always like seem so bored..when at movies..perhaps she doesnt like movies? hmmmz.. or maybe next time i shall suggest going shopping with her instead..but i doubt she will wanna.. hahaz. =X.then in the movieee... when all dark dark... lolz..feel like just..huggin her ok!! lolz...sounds so hamsap..cAnnot mAke it manz.. lolz..but reallly manz..kinda tempting..=X. just feeeeel like putting my arms at her shoulder..and hold her..lolz.!.!.!. yeahz.. but anyway after the movie it was kinda late..around 7+ pm...so it's time for dinner!! and as..planned...we r going for f!sh & cO... hehehe!! then she wannted to go to the Glass House..cos like nearer mahz..but..when we went there..it was like full hse!! but that's not the point ..the point is that the customers there ar all like working adults! then suddenly...these 2 skoolin kiddies walk in..to dine..like dman weird rite?!? so in the end.. we went centre point..heheh..! yeah..then we went there.. we orderd..the FiSh 'n' ChIps! hehhez.. yeahZ! and she's sitting opposite me... so i can..look at her..all the time i wanna.. look into her eyes...lolz..=P..her eyes.. are brownish color..lols..thanks to her contacts..lolz! the serviette is lemon scented...the ice water..was supposed to have a kiss of lemon..but cant feel tt kiss..lolz..and yeah..the fish n chips..are enveloped in lemon butter...!! hehehez.. delicious..and of cos..the gur opp. me..makes it more delicious!! then we just spent... about 40mins or so..just eating..hehehz.. =)
Then at 9.30pm..she was supposed to be at home..then..like..9.30 she was still at fish n co.?!?!?! so..yeah..and she gave my no. to her mom so tt anything happens in case her mom will call me. yeah.z..then poor me..lolz..her mom indded called around 9:45pm..then she talked and talked wit me for 12 mins.. thnak god at some Qs she asked me..i know how to like.. u know..XIAN a bit..bluff her..but got one part..i really kena.. as in..she knew i was not fron miNg cHuan's ex pri skool..cos she kinda questioned me.. and she got me hard on that.. hahaz.. yeah.. but in the end...everything turned out quite okay..as in..she believed me..and..she even commented that im more mature than her other firneds!! =). hehe..
So i sent her home..again..but very happy doing so.. SO yeah! i walked her..to almost her block..b4 i... heh heh.. ! i gave her the pressies..and i told her that..the starz..i folded for her... are wot i really felt..then i like said until so..haiya donno lahz. she said vEry cHicKeN..she dOn liKe it..lolz..yea... then so liddat the day wore off..
now let's tok bout yst,,which is saturday,! i intedned to call her..but in the end i msged her..i asked her that question..and once again she said donno..but thank god this time she didnt say..wot damN lArhZ...wA lAoz.. i dOn lIke iT...cAnnOt mAke iT.. she said.. she needed more time.. and that when she made up her mind..she will tell me..but then..this time was unlike other timez..she asked me a question.. " will ur feelinz for me last..or just for a moment.."? from this msg..i think i can kinda tell..tt i have made better progress.heheh! but i aint that sure yet..mayb afterall..im just self -conlcluding..then i replied.." i cant say my feelings will last forever..but..all i know is that during the 9 days when we werent in contact..i literally..have no mood..for anything.." and it's utterly true..from the bottom of my heart. actually...this type of last thing or wot..nobody will know..only time can tell.. --> wot Bobby[my amths tutor] said..and i guess it's really trueee... and that..many things u gotta have fate.. yUpZ! i guess just let things go naturally then..but hope thigns will turn out good..hahahaz.. so yeahz..
and now it;s like.. i feel that in sms..i donno wot to type too..and it's like..she seldom replies..tt i understand b/c of her hp prob..and stuff. sigh! donno lahz.. this thing has been going on in my head..since the nite i said it. =X. and it's like making me a bit moody...gRr! dono lahz..just that wanna really tell miNg cHuan that i miss her.. a lot.. thoh i said it to her..just now..but it seems like she doesnt really believe so yea...well i guess life sux sometimes..lolz! kididn larhz..actually i veyr lucky alreayd sso i guess i better shuddup...hahaz..=X.
i guess i better go off...now! it's late! and.. wanna say again..
miNg cHuan.. i mIsS u..

29 june!.!.! 2nd daeeee at skoOl...and already so worn out manz.. =XxX

2004-06-29T20:08:00.000+08:00

dEar DeAr diAry!!
so much things happened you know a not...since the last time i wrote..the last entry ??? hahaz..yeah manz lotsa lotsa thigns happened! today is like the 2nd day of term3 20004... finally skool has once begun again and AGAIn... no more hols for the sec 4s..sad case ritE? sigh..thoh i like got other stuff to do...but i still die die must come online to write this entry b/c it has been quite some time since i last wrote..and there r some events i wanna jot it down manz.. so yeah..better write it down b4 i forget.. =X lolzz..!.. shucks manz today i came home damn late...like 7+ pm. actually shld have been late 6 pm..thanks to moses larhz. wan play wot soccer..then i bo bian waited for him coz don wan ownswlf come home so sianz...then he said 1/2 hr only..then i okok lorhz..then waited till like 45mins..then i pEnGs...then he still like wan play.then i a bit pissed larhz..so i went hme myself instead..again..damn zz taking mrt alone...15 station stops somemore lehz..wotta bore. then when i reached bukit batok..i wenta wEsT mAll..cos i wanna get dis small bottle to storez the starz..i made..during the period..when i cant contact mC at all..then im gonna give this bottle to her.. so i went to some...shop those u knows..cards 'n' such shoppiez..then i saw this bottle..with the piGgy picture on it..and i immediately knew that "daMn! i have gotta get that manz.." and sure enuff...1 min later...i bot that...and was on my way home..lolz.thoh the bottle was a bit more ex..but..yea..nevertheless..i got it! haiyaz..lemme get straight to my pt. lahz..
diAry DiAry...finally!! last friday..i talked to mC..!! wooF! after 9 days K??!?! 9 days..carn believe it manz..but yea..9 solid dayz. actually on tt day friday i was feeling u know..screwed up again..hahaz..as in bluey and crapz...then the day wasn't tt fantastic too..with skool re-opening and stuffz..yeah..my mood was...bLeAhz! then soo in the nite...i was online chatting with Sf..and loy.. then loy started asking bout mC and stuff..so i told him the same old stuff that..i had no idea what happened to her and stuff. i was feeling like.." all i wanna is 5 mins..to talk to her..and ask what happened..." just 5 mins..is all i neeedd. then loy started suggesting to call mc up again..then i was like "don wan lahz" later the mommie pick up and stuff..soo in the end i stil called...but is asked sF and loy to help me larhz.. yeah..then sF later told me..that mC asked me to call her up at 11pm..! when i heard that..i felt so happy...!!! it's like so happy...like never b4 in the hols..manz.. never felt tt happy..during the hols..i was like jumping for joy..and crapz..hahaz. sounds silly rite..then at eleven i called her...
and guess what!??! the reason why she didnt turn up for the meeting..was b/c...jusst before she's gonna meet me..she went shopping with her friends..then her friends stole again..and thoh she didnt steal..but she was like kinda implicated..then in the end..3 of them ended up in police station.. until like...11+pm...from 3pm...she was bailed out.. then her mom got so pissed that she confiscated her phone immediately..and terminated the line..and ever since till skool reopens..she's grounded.. sad case rights...wAhZ! to think i thot what happened...made me think and think..worry n worry..for 9 days..then ended up to be nufifn..=X. yeha then our conversation went on and on for an hr + when it was like supposed to end in 30 mins..hahaz.then when i talked to her..i can kinda like sense that she doesnt believe the way i felt...and she's like..also don really care that i got stood up.. haiya dono lahz.. but the reason she didnt calll me was..b/c she doesnt rmb my no. ... and her other friends' no. so gr8..she has to wait for her friends to call her.. =X. yeah..so that's obut mC and mE... =XxX.
then thruout the last weeekend of the hols..i went out..everyday..with mommy and sista..hahaz..slacked like no one's business.. and on sunday..i couldnt slp...which got me screwed..b/c on monday i was real tireed...and on monday night which was last nite.. i slept at 1am..thanks to...my body refusing to shut down..lolz..then yea..so here i am now..worn out again..and again and again! btw..uNagI sUshi wRapped in Tamago Egg is super nice Kz!!! woohoooz!
Rite now.. i find myself in a screwed up situation. lotsa stuff to be done..specifially..my dnt folio and artefact..and other hwk manz.. wahz.!. feel as if the walls are caving in..lolz..~.~!!
Anyway last nite..hehs hehs..i called up Mc..then we talked for an hr pluss..i called her up..cos u know..i wanna advance boooked..her on this friday!! hehez.. yeah..i wanna ask her out..on a date..to watch SPIDERMAN 2! and u know eat fish & co. ... her wish yeah..then im gonna ask her that Q!! u know..diary..that Q!! haahz..yeah manz.. this time i make sure i get a definite ans..come what may..lolz.. yeah and she agreeed to go out with me! heheehz! yeah..so liddat! last nite..b4 i slept i was like planning everything already on what to say to her and stuff..:P heheez! but i really donno manz..bc if she accepts to be my gf..then i gotta spend time with her..then u know sec 4s somemore..but if she says NO to my q..then i guess heartbroken lahz..lolz..so afterall continuing chasing her like this may not be a bad idea too..=X yeah!i! and btw this sat. got O levels listening...=X . god bless all 1988 babies..hahaz..
And btw today i was lucky to not get dentention! phew~ went skool late..but thank god it was raining..so the prefects kinda like bochup..so yea..no booking down of nameZ! phew~!~ okok larhz..i think i write till here..dont wanna spend too much time online..got ltosa thigns to be done..and furthermore im beat. i wanna slp early tonite..say 10.30? =D. ok bAhZ... n|teX n|teZ diAry!! buuuuaiZ!!

RE: omg! today sucked at the nite..but ruled at the dae manz..

2004-06-20T01:55:00.000+08:00

dEar dEar diAry,
today..was actually quite an okay day overall. i went out with dan loy..in the afternoon to early night..as in like 8pm..yeahz. we went outta to watch THE BEST BET! hahaz..the starting was hilarious..the hokkien listened lerhz..really bEaRy farnie..then after that we walked around..basically around heerrreens and cineleisuree..then the loy wanna get his AND1 shoes b4 the gr8 singapore sales goes offf..so yea..being a good friend u know..i accompanied him..hahaz..lols.then of cos u know ..he asked for THE ONE's opinion..and he so goood boi boi chose the one i told him suit him best..muahahahaahahz!! kididn la..but really he chose the one i told him to get..see...peer pressure..! hahaz =X. then at the cineleisure they..woohooo those ppl on.. the speakers so loud manz! the music was blaring!! wooohooo! tt's the attitude manz! hahaz..then in the world of sports there..i took out my stud ..at the upper part of the yr..cos it kinda like ouchy...and redd..that part..so i took the stud out.!.!.!. then after that we just walked around...to takashishimaya..lolz..to eat yoshinoya..for dinner..then agaian..after that..me u knoww...asked loy "heyo...wan go ddrink frappaccuino..at starbucks..hehs hehs.." then he said no prob..so hehez...we went to paragon to drink wooohooo...frapaaccuino rOx! ;). then after that just kinda loiter around..then went home lerhs...
but one thing i was glad is that i went out..cos don really wanan stay at home..cos i feel like..will think more and stuff then make me feel restless n "moody" only manz.. so yeahz..when i go out..i feel better :)! lolz..then nowadays like blur blur...walk walk..also can walk in wrong direction and etc..
Then when i came home it was like almost 10 pm..cos went ta help mommmie buy some stuff and etc.. then when came home wanted to put back the stupid stud since the hole didnt close yea...cos if the hole closed...then i guess it's fate then i wun bother with it anymore..but since it didnt close so i wanan kinda persistent to put it back.so i tried and tried for lotsa times...for like..quite long time..and the thing kinda just wun go into the hole yea..and it got me so frustrated kZ!! cos it was like sooo painful to get the stupid stud in. and just now i was like..tired...so the excruciating..pain almost make me like wanna faint manz. no kiddin! it's really pain till dots. sounded like im whinnin right? hahahz..yeah i kinda think so too! then b/c of my pek chek-ness i like ... kidna rude to sF [shufen] and Esther [my one and only "mEiZ"] ..so yeahz..i sms-ed back them..when i felt bettter...
Actually..i kinda got so frustrated...is also paritally b/c of mC..i really miss her..and wonder how's she doing now...and what happened to her..all these stuff i guess built up..and..made me kinda pEK.. donno manz..nowadays i feel pek easily..as in those kinda " LIFE SUCKS" pek. yeah manz.. actually i think that.. it's with arthur...loy...long..those grp of friends + mC..that i 'm so much light hearted nowadays..yeahz..manz.. so w/O them i think i wld be like " shuddupmuthafcukupcoslifesuxbigtime" lolz..
hEY! and shucks manz..now my face like sooo many pimples..grrr..better go...do somethign to it..b4 i cry manz. ='(. anyway..i finally..managed to get the stud back in thoh it's kinda like raw and swollen now...and kinda slight twitchy pain! yeahz..=). damn hungrrrie! but don wan eat ler..lazy bRuSh teeth again..btw today orchard road lotsa hoottt babes!! wooohooo!! hahaz.. yeah i guess that's bout it for today.. brb tml! hehs..hehs..
miNg cHuan... miSs yOu lIkE cRaZeeEee... hahaz..but i bet when she hears it..or wotsoever..she will think i'm lying againz.. hahaz..b.c i like tell her so many times..till she..dOtZ mAnz..hahaz.. anyway tml's father's day..sooo happppie daddy's dad to all papa..!! hehs..!.!. yeah manz..i guess i beeettter go!! it's vey late! almost 3am already....!! miSs yaRr..! btw..today nv see sF and NicOle online..nobody pei me tok cock.. sigh! but at least qIuyIng's online to tok cock..so not soo bad lahz. yeah i did better run! byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =)

It seems like a bad day ...today...

2004-06-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

dEar dEar dIarieee,
hie!just thot of typing an entry today..today ain't particularly a good day cos i felt kinda pek chek and stuff manz..Actually i think one of the main reasons is that..mC..and mC..and MC..and other things..like staying at home whole day..not touching my dnt work and stuff. and my mom's like quite ill..and my sis just slpz around and eatz around the whole day..so yeahz..just kinda get me very pek up and stuff.My mom's like always wearin on tthat "sian very pek and ill face" ..and it kinda like make me pek too.. but im not blaming her or wot arhz.. she's really very ill.. sigh..god heal her manz.
yeah...then throughout the whole day i ain't do much..just on the comp for hrs...in the afternoon..watched tvv.and stuff..and ate like only 2 slices of bread..plus..dinner today..so yeah. ever since few days back this has been my diet..=X .and i don seem to like slim down..lolz. it was only like in the night around 8pm then we went out to get dinner for the whole family.. b/c i aint wanna stay at home..so kinda volunteered to get food at bukit batok central..so as to u know get some breather..not keep on cooped at home.. so i took my discman along with me..to foolllow me go buy fooood! then the sky was dark...it was breeezy windy..with the soothing music playing in my ears...woooohooo...weeeeeeeeeeee! all my troubles seem to drift forever from me..tt's life manz.
then i went to...coffeee bean to get the cakes..slices..for my sis..and me to eat..tml..when we r hungry. then i kinda like cant hear what the guy behind the counter told me..so i said "sorry?" but still cant catch what he said..then in the end i said soem other thing..which is obviously not the answer...to wot he asked me! then he kinda giggled a bit! soo maluAting.. u know! but it was okay lahz..cos just like wot jeremy my swimming coachie said.. " as u get older..ur skin gets thicker..!" heez..tt's so true! =)..so after that i wenta kOpitiam to get foood for me..mommmie..and sista! then i went to the cAroNa chicken store..then the lady behind the counter was like..sooo nice to me..say thank u and stuff..like so politely ..then i was like wOws! ;) . hehz. then i went home..after getting the desertz..then i forgot all bout the fish poirridge i ordered for mommy! so ..i went bck..to get it..then the lady owner..was like so nice to me..say xie xie and all in an amiable way! it was like the best food trip i have ever been...the shopowneers like soo nice!!
then on my way home..i was feeling much light hearted and stuff.. then i came home..helped mom to iron some clothes cos she was like complaining a little bout soo many chores to do and no one even bothering helping her.. so yea..i kinda tried to help by ironing some clothes..hahaz..thank god i didnt burn the hse down..=PpP thank god now my mom and i r on better termz..=D so yeah. i hope tt somehow..next time..perhaps the ear hole of the upper part will close. cos i really don bear to let it close..=X. yeah..=XxX. so yeahz..
basicaly today ..sux.. but the night part was much better..so yeah..and perhaps tml im going out! weeeeeeeee! just a moivie or something like that! =). and right now im chatting with 3 ppl..weee! =XxX. yeah..i guess soo.." always look on the bright side of lifee!!" --> this is utterly true.. and this.."live life to the fullest" is BULLSHIT. so ppl out there stop putting this as ur motto or wotsoever. cos u cant do it. so just shuddup. =X hahaz..yup! i guess i write till here bahz!
and b4 i go...i wanna say something.." miNg cHuan.. hope yar doing fine now..and .. i miss u.."! i know i have said it a million..billion..inifity...zillion...godzillion times..but i still gonna say it manz..all the way to the grave. hahaz..
n|tEx my lAo pO diary! hehehez.. muacks! byeee!

17th june 04'...2 mths after i saw miNg cHuan...2mths after i started likin' Her...2mths after i started chasing Her... =X

2004-06-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

dEaRie diAry,
jUst thot of writing an entry on 17th june...thoh i ain't really got much to talk about..just that it has been officially 2 mths since i started chasing miNg cHuann.!. how fast manz time flieeeesss...weeeeeeeeee! hahahaz..i still rmb clearly that just before 3rd of june..i was thinking whether should i pop the Q..the one.."wiLL u bE mY gUrFriEnd.." hahaz. i was thinking n thinkin..then actually i think think..haiya better wait till 17th june liddat...like more appropriate..so as to give her more time to think over...lolz..then so fast.. in the blink of an eye..here comes 17th june! and now to think i wanna ask...also cannot..=( don even know how's she now! but i guess no fret manz! cos sooon im sure she will be fine..then i can contact aagain..hehehez.. =)
now the thots in me .. are like..i don wanna holidays to end...yet i wanna it to end. it's like..mixed feeelings i guess..nostalgia..=X the reason why i don wanna it to end is obvious...cos i aint wanna go skool..got so many upcoming tests..and blahz..and very soon it will be the O levels..so everything will suck a lot..or super lotz..And the reason why i kinda a bit wan the hols to end..ish b/c right now eervyday seems to bee a long day...with a lonely quiet night..everythings seems so monotonous. how i wish..im still in seC 3... =D..then no strezz..weeeeeeee!!
Actually i feel kinda bad..for making my mom so upset over my ear piercing..i kindqa wanna take it off..the stud but..yet..u know it's like since i pierced already..if i take it out and let the hole close wun it be a bit pity...? so im kinda in a dilemmma manz.sigh.!. i just hope my mom will force me to take it out..so i don have to u know..choose by myself. but i know..my mom's so nice till she will never do tt. sigh!.! just my mom's rotten luck to have me as her son.. =( hahaz. i can tell my mom like very stressed over lotsaaa things.. sometimes she just gotta take life more easy and not really like connect sooo many things to god..thoh i know it may not bee a bad thing..yeah manz!.!.!
wOof! i downloaded so much songs..during the past few days..=).feels good manz to have new songs constantly playing on the hi-fi set..hahaz.. the best thing in life has gotta be mUsiC. lolz. w/O it..i really donno how to live this life of mine. lolz..oh..yeah..btw really hope to go to L/P concert..so hope yeaa..tt' u know..micracle will happen..lolz. if i really can go..then whu shld i bring? lolz..im thinkinf too much am i?!?! hahaz..
oH manz.. i miss u lotz..mC..really i doo..!! arrrgh!! hope nuffin happens to u... kZ? cos nuffin must happen to you..!!
yeah i guess that's all i really gotta say for today...oH yeah..btw wanna say thanks to Sf [shufen] and nIc [nicole] for tokin with me...on the phone..ahahz..for litening to the most boring guy on earth..lolz..yeah manz...
seeee yarrrh diary! lUrVe yArRh! n of cossss.. mC miSs yArR !

16 junee 2004... a WeDnesady... a boring one.. a bluey one.. a sianz one... a tiring one..

2004-06-16T13:35:00.000+08:00

dEaR DeArY d|aRy ...
soOOoOOoOOo many things happened in the past few dayss..!.!.!.. f|rstly..most impt.ly..is that..miNg cHuAn..something bad and serious happened to her..f**k right..and the worst thing is that i don't even know what exactly happeened to her..zZzZZzZz..shucks manz. i guess i better replay the whole incicdent..
dear dear diary..u see..on monday..14th june..mC and i were supposed to meet up at tP mrt station at 3.30pm..then around 1pm liddat..b4 i gott outta hse..i still reminded her..the meet..and she still replied to tell me can the time be changed from 3 - 3.30pm..then i was okay with it..since i gotta get her something..u know..cos..the other time like..she keeep on don wanna me treat her..so i decided to go cards 'n' such to get her something yea..then i wore this..black button downs.. soo bloody hot kZ almost burnt me too death!! then my stupid hair went tooo apppply soo much of the silly claay just to make it stand..and blahz. then finallly..when i went to the cards 'n' such..got air con mahz..=X then when i got there..i was like.." hUhs? wot shld i get arhs..." then see here and there..called up my sis for suggestions..then i ended up getting her..this..heart shape..inflatable..thing..with a cutee cutee winnie the ppoooh softie in it..and all of it ish p!nk..but..i didn't even get the chance to pass it to her.. =(
so lemme get to the next part..so i took the mrt after buying the gift..then i reached tP station 8 mins late!! grrh.. then i called her.. no one picked up the phone.. so i was like.."hmmmzz..okay.". then..i just sat...down..on the "bench" there lahs..and took out this cheena bk and started reading the bAo zHang BaO dAo in it...tt's how..i tide over 2 hrs.. actually i was like...a little bit mad. then i called her hp again...then it's switched off. then i think bck..i doubt she will be so irresponsible thoh i know she's kidna irresponsible..but not to this state until like pass for 2 hrs..and yet not a call or sms from her..so in the end i went home..then bot burGer KING to eat =X Then..from then me like kinda worry something bad might happen to her..cos she wun like...liddat one..lorhz. then..i decided to call her hme..thoh i know it's her mom who will most likely to pick up..and great! i got a verbal lashing thrashing from her mom..hahaz. kena scolded for 5 mins..as in told me not to contact mC anymore and stuff b/c of her results..and blahz. then i asked her mom..whether is she at hme..can i speak to her just for a while..then..she said mC's not at home. then i kinda begin to like..thinking..and am quite sure something bad happened..or wot. sooo..i guess i can't really do much...
it was only..until the next day..whcih was tuesday..that i enlisted the help of ShuFen..my best girl-friend..haha to help me call up her hsee. cos getting like more serious the situatuion. cos Mc's the hp line service like got terminated.so it's like really getting quite serious. so i bo bian gotta ask sF help me..then so sF being a nice friend helped me to call.. then the mom picked up as usual..then said mC's slping..whcih is a gooood thing. at least i can be quite certain that she's fine. actually i think mC's mom's only biased against guys.. hahaz.
but anyway... later on in the evenin when sF called again...the mom said she doesn't wish any friend to dsiturb her in the next few days..because something serious and bad happeneed to Mc..wtf ritex. then the mom doesnt wanna tell..wot happened..to her. which is a dammit thing. b/c keeps me guessing wot actually happened.then sigh. sian manz..cos donno wot happened to her.. grrrh. then after that sian.. so wwent to LOT 1 with sister to pierce ear..i got the upper part of my left ear pierced finally!! it ain't really pain ..just slightly more painful than the usual one..and it cost me 5 BUcks!! =X. tt's bout it. jjust tt when i slp i cant slp face side on the left..cos my ear will pain then i will oUch! =X. actually i didnt really know whether wanan pierce but in the end just heck..and give it a shot. yea..so the day passed by liddat..
then in the later nite..i went online..and chit chat with dan loy and sf..reall funny..as in..the way we tok n stuff.. then read all the testimonials nicole and sf typed for me..hahaz..both of them so gd..helped me write so long..and both of their testi..soo funny..as in real farnie manz! i read already just keep on roflol..lolZ!
then the next day..whcih is today..i ain't really do much..just finished my english hwk and..my sSocial sStudies hwk..yea..tt's bout it..for today so far. and oh yeah just gott into a quarrel with my mom. ain't tt great? hahaz. sigh! feel like going joggin right now..but no one to accompany meee..or else i wanan run and run..till cannot take it..=X hahaz.
haiya..im lazy to type anymore manz.. tired of seeing all these words..makes me giddy only..lolz.. hahaz. yeah i guess i shall go offline?!? cyaaaa diaaarrrry oh muack muack muack..!!! hahaz.. =PpP

wOohOo... long time no write diary already manz..so must come bck..and write write..some..incidents.lolz.z.z..z.z

2004-06-05T18:31:00.000+08:00

DeAr dIarY!
right now it's a saturday...evening..and im stuck at home lolz. i feel that this holiday is sooo boring. everyday i have got to go back to school for lessons..which is the worst part. lolz..and just now..i actually played bball with.. 2 members of the bball gang..Zj and Xin yan. the big deal is .. that both of them dislikes me. But i left the game early.. it was defintely boring. Nobody really like kinda passed the ball to me. not that i don wanan u know like shout out and ask for it.. but u know when ur enemies r around..it's just kinda more hard to do stuff..or perhaps i shld have asked for the ball to be passed to me..haiya..dunchno lahz.think of so many things later i go.. pEnGz..=X And also so luckily..the ball smacked me on my lips..and i happen to have a stupid ulcer..=X but surprisingly..thoh i held the ball for like not even... 4 times.. i actually..got one ball in the hoOp! hahaz..pure sheeer luck manz.. =X Oh yEah..and the Zj like .. err.. when he plays bball..he like..kidna like to kek a lot.. by jumping around..with the ball trying to make out some style..errr..not that there's no style..just that it's like damn fake..and exhausting. =X bUt..the whole wasn't really ruined or wot..coz..when i was on the way home..the mrt train was shockingly not packed! as in got lotsa seats to sit..so i went home..sitting down instead of standing up..hahaz.. then while i was on the mrt.. miNg cHuan.. sms-ed me!! hehez.. thoh it waas kinda of a reply to the sms i sent in the morning..but.. at least she made a pt to reply..and tt meant the world to me..muahahahahahaahahaha! i think i'm nuttty alreadi..lolz. but sadly enuff la..she sms-ed with me for like 4, 5 timex..then gotta go ta ta work.. but at elast she smsed ;).. then i came home..bot nasi lemak with lotsa ingredients..yummmy!! then i slept lolz.. actually wanted to watch the Torque. but the dvd like kinnda screwed up..so sianz lahz..kinda beat too..so just went into slumber for like 4 hrs? lolz..even i like also cannot believe it..now my afternoon naps are like at least 3 hrs long onez..=X hEy! i go eat first kKz..later i shall bE bACk! to write the episode of june 3rd. =D hehehehehehez!
hEllooo back! now leeemme rap on june 3rd..hehehz. it was the day of the band concert mahz..and rmb i invited mC to go along with meee?!? yeahz..finally this day came..i still rmb that it was like only one month plus back.. when i just bot the ticks..i was like "waHz..still such a long period of time..b4 the band concert..can hardly wait manz.." theen..now..so fast..in e the blink of an eye! the concert has camee..hehe. sooo..let moi tok bout it lah kkz.. mmmz.. actually the day itself ain't really tt good or wot..but..at least i get to seeee her faceee..hehehez! on the day itself..i got skool..then i have gotta rush home..to bathe n change, etc, and gotta rush to meet her..cos i told her i wanan watch harrry potter..with her mahz.. =X soo..in the end.. due to unforseeen circumstances..i was late..by some 20 mins. but i really did rush and rush..cos i wouldn't wanna be late for a date..damN ruDe one.u know!! later leave bad impression..then i really dotZ manz.. then me while arriving halfway to P.S. the mC come call me and said she still at home..at tt time i really dotZ..=X i was kinda mad at her.. coz..like everytime she also like that onez..then me wait until pEnGs..haiya..but nvm lahz..i wasn't really tt mad..just a little weeny bit..then i like..dotz..so much time donno how to spend.. so i decided to go get this Cd..for moses as a belated gift! it's this hillsongs..album damn nice manz the song..lotsa rOck! woohoo! then at the Life bookshopp..i dunch really know how to test try the Cds mahz..so i went to ask the gur behind the counter how to.. and she was like kinda sweeet manz.. =PpP. then i rushed after buying the Cd.. all the way to dhoby ghaut..cos tt's the place im supposed to meet her.. then i was like errr...5,6 mins late. then she..wasn't there..then later..after like 17 mins..she called me..and said.. she was at P.S. and like running around the whole place..hahaz. Then..later i found out she actually wasted 10 bucks on a phonecard just to call me.. cos she no hp mahz..then i feeel soo bad! =X. becos of a stupid call..then 10 bucks lerhz. mmmmz..think i gotta..u know.."repay" her back.. hehs hehs. then when i saw her..i kena shocked manz! she was wearing the same color as me!! pAi SeH mahz..later..ppl..tease mahz..=Z she was like wearing red jacket then white spaghetti strap inside..if im not wrong..then i was like.. wearing red button downs.. with white tee-shirt inside..wahz..it was really pengs manz!! whatta coincidence! then..she jsut cut her hair mahs.. those like a bit the dOll dOll hairstyle..lolz..then she applied lipZzZ gloSS..hehes..look kinda jap! as in she really like kinda look like japanese.. cos her face's like got this powerdery make up look..mahz. lolz..if only can muuuuuuacks..her liPzzz glosS lipz..hehs hehs.. hahaz. =X. wahs..if she sees this sentence she will pEngS till she die arhz..=X then after that was damn lame..i brot her to timEs bookshop..and we did nothing..except anyhow pick up books and just flip n flip..lolz..mi sooo failure right..haiyooyoo.. =X. then afterwards dAn lOy came to join us.. then we 3 went to eat mOs bUrger mahz.. then everytime i see how mC dip her fries in the chilli..and the way she like kinda "swing" around the chicken wing..lolz..i really donnoz whether to say cuteee or funniex.. hahaz..but i luff-ed like siAo..then she also like..lolz..keep on gimmee tt face Xpression..lolz..damn joke manz!! =X. hahaz..then afterwards..we went to city hall..then we saw..jun hong..ben er..yong chien..i kena stunned manz for a minute!! lolz..was like real shocked to see them..then..later when we went to the eSplanade..saw lotsa more and more of my friends..wahsz.... see liaoz..i a bit dots..hahaz. then i met up with auDrey..she was like act...Xuai kOO...(moutaint tortise) come tell me.." u say she's not preetty..but she is wot..!! " dots manz.. hahaz..then we went into the concert hall..thoht..super grand..but..pengs..so so lahz..not tt grand.. then i sat like in between 2 gurs..! lolz.. but no big deal =Z then the aRthur like buay tahan him..trhu-out the whole thing..tok n tok n tok with audrey..ahahz..then me like.. tok with mC a bit a Bit mahz..can tell she's like bout..too zZzZzZzZzZ...hahaz..cos really kinda boring the band musical pieces..except for the last piecee..=X. then i brot the windbreaker..especially for mC...but too bad.. air con..too lousy..not cold enuff.. =X so..my windbreaker cannot..u know.. PaI shAng yOng ChANg.. then after the concert..the toopid audrey..=X like come suan me.. dots manz.. say wot..blah blahz lahz.. so me now...don treat her so good lerhz ..=X as in now must suan her..cos last time i don have mahz..rarely lahz..lolz. then later... i sent mC home..damN laRhz..if it's still erly.. actually wanan bring her along the eSplanade to walk onez.. then.. haiya..u know.. life stinks..lolz..so cannot...bring her.. there. =X. then nvm lahz. i sent her home... =) . actually i wanan pOp the question one u know!! aud..and arthur like keep on prompt me..lolz. but in the end..we kinda took cab..to mC's hse..cos we scared no buS..mahz.. then..u know in the taxi hors..got third party mahz..lolz..the txi driver!! so i cannot.. u know u know..ask the question!! haiya!! or perhaps i think it's like mayb also too short of a time..for me to pop tt question..haiya donno lahz..wah bIaNgs..manz..me really like damN failure..hope tt..i can soon ask her..and soon she will agree..and soon can hold her.. =X. hahahaz. lolx..
yeah..so tt's bout..june 3rd..actually i think the 1st date was the best onex.. =).. but..really..i do miSs her nowz.. =( . mayb i shld be more thick skinned lahs..and go sms her now. =PpP.. hehes.. okok.. lah..i tink i have wrote enuff.. ! sooo cyaaaa diarrrrry... muuuuuuuuuuacks..! hahahaz..

25th mAaaaaay' 04. mMmMmMmMmMmMmZ... rea|isation of things..

2004-05-25T19:09:00.001+08:00

dEar diArrrriEx..
hellloX! finally im back again! mUaHaHaAhAhAhAhAha...! how r u, missy diary..! Right now ish..19:19 ..25th may. i tell myself le..that today die die must write! b/c intiatially i wanted to write like 2 days back..when there's like ltosa things to put into fine print mans!! but delay delay procrastinate procrastinate..then ended up..with today? lolz..so i think today no matter wot..die or not die also must write..or else i scared later forget wot to type mahs.. all these things i wanna write it down..so i can look back uponz it.. =) actually i think really got lotsa sa sa sa stuffies to write manz...kKz..so let mua now reverse back time..and try to rmb wot i wanna write..lolz..
mMmMmMmmMmmMmMz..oOh yAh! i rmb-ed ler...lemme rewind time back to when it was saturday..okie okie?!? saturday..the whole day was quite plain..except that i went siwmming and slack and slack..lolz.tt particular siwmming lesson..mua coach..jErmeY made me swim about 20 laps in all lahz.. then he asked me to swim 2 laps Sets..then almost everything got butterfly in it..then to his surprise i didn't stop hehez..cos i normally swim butterfly..i surely will stop once..in the middle of the pool lolz..but this time i didn't thoh it's so much more lapz.i think i know why... and it's partially b/c of..miNg cHuan..hehez..she's like my motivation..as in don't give up! Then the funny funny malu part is that..when jermy asked me to swim on my back with freestyle kick..in breadths..then me so malu b/c siwmming on back ish more diff. to see whether ya going the correct direction mahs..then i so suay suay swam outta line!! then almost banged into this guy..heng manz..that i did not..=P then it was so malu-ing!! but thank goodness..as the yrs passed..i grew with more layers of skin ..lolz..so now much more thick-skinned!! hahaz.. so afterall not tt malu lahz. ;) hehez. that'z all for saturday i guess!
nOoow, let's tok bout sunday!lolz..sunday the earlier part of it..i went to churchie..but b4 going to church..my hse was like..quite a spectacle lolz..due to a perfromance put up by my sis..hahaz. she was like damn furious by my mom's consistent naggin for her to get ready..because my mommie doesn't wanna be late again.then my sis so angry went to scream at my mom..then threw my discman on the floor lolz..wot a temper for a bright sunday morning..hahaz.then well as for me..i jsut like bochup bochup lolz..then i went to church..and blahz..the fun part was going out! =XxX. i went out with arthur and loy..we went to watch shRek 2!! it was real funny manz! didn't know it would be tt fantastic..thoht it would sitnk big time..but afterall it turned out to be real good too! and dan loy went to buy this billabong shirt..and he like keep on kinda ask me "how's this..how's that...lolz.." but the crucial part of sunday was...in the movie theatre..not tt some funnie funnie thing happened in the theatre or wot arhz. ok lah..lemme tell the story now.. cos we were watching shRek right..then..there's this part of the movvie which shows the PuSS iN bOOtS [Shrek's character] being breathless..and this image immediately brought me to the thot of audrey..who got a bad asthma attack few wks back..so i turned next to arthur..and said "hey hey...audrey audrey...lolz.." then his reaction was like...lolz..pissed. cos he said "hey ..f**k u lah f**k u lah..f**k u ok..." then when i heard it i was like.. =X pEngS.. then at tt moment i realised the folly i made.cos i thot tt arthur might take it as a joke..but didn't knew he took it so seriously..at tt point of time lah.. b/c after a while he was back to his normal self..luffin and luffin again..lolz. but the pt. isssh that. i guess i shldn't have said that at all. b/c i don truly understand..wot death is..and wot it can do to the ppl..around u..so afterall..it's quitee..a sensitive thing..so i guess LESSON LEARNT : ziiiiiiiiip! shuddup. don't talk bout wot die die again.. lolz..! but really lah..i hope i could take this lesson well..anyway..let's talk bout more cheerful things..such as...during the movvieee..i was sitting beside a chio cute bu?!?! heheehz.. shiok rightz.. :) this gur can sense tt she's differnent.. b/c she doesn't mind bringin along 2 kids with her.. who r kinda young like pri 1 liddat into the cinema to watch with her..? this shows that she's really caring..hehez..and this kinda of gurs..are really.. a WOOOOHOOOOOO!! a 100% must GRAB! lolz.. =X. then after the movvvvieee..we went other places...such as PS..to makan..and stuff. then when we makan...dinner i sms-ed mC again..and asked "where she is workin.." cos..i hope to like u know u know lolz..to perhaps send her home after her work tt day..but in the end she replied..so late..until it's like im already at home..all bathed..hahaz. and u know..msg her got a bit stwess one.. cos u must type in a way that shows that u care and yet not to the super caring stage till like.. very protective that type..u know u know..mS. diary what mua toking?!? so when msg her like face a bit stwess too.. haiya! then and some more things add here and there..like rOjak..which made me feel like wan give up give up liddat manz.. but in the end..the followin day which is monday..i told myself ..that i will not give up!! hehez..! and btw..audrey also said something like..canot give up so easy and it's like only 1 mth + of me chasing her. 1 mth plus is nufifn..b/c her ex took 2 mths to chase her! so i guess..i shldn't give up..and keep on going and goin and goin! just like the bIg fiSh's main character..so determined to get anything he wants manz! so i guess no matter how long..wheter it's 2 mths..3mths..4mths..or even 6 mths..i cant give up! =D yeah!i! i must strive on..!
okok diaarrry! lemme tok bout..monday now! wOof! monday's a real big day manz.. as in got lotsa craBz..for me to write bout.lolz. the most big thing bout monday ish..X-country! our skool had our annual skool X-country at maritchie..reservoir..and since this is my last yr..i decided to run..as in jog jog.. and not give up...cos it's my last yr. b/c for the past 2 yrs i have been slackin..never run at all..just simply walked thru-out the dman thing. so this yr mustt cheoooooooooooong manz!! then at the starting of the run... moses..came up to me and tell me " those bballers..they say if joe steps down as chairman and they will saboh u make u chariman.." . Joe is my class chairman lahz.. and the bballers.. dislike me.. not all but.. at least 3 of them. Zijie, Derek, Xin yan. Zijie..it's b/c of a real super long conflict which i dont think i wanna wrtie bout. since it's so long. and derek and xinyan are influenced by zijie. so yeahz..when i first heard wot moses said i was like.."mmmmzz... " i was a little weeeny bit agitated.. very slightly.. then i told few persons.. like kum long ..and moses that i wanna win zijie in this X-country... if tt's i can..and so the run started..and i jogged and jogged.. at first daniel tan and moses were beside me..but later on they started to stop..and i didn't wanan stop b/c i know once u stop to rest for a few mins only..ur bod will like drop to resting state..and if u wanna jog again..it will be sooo much really so much more difficult..so i told myself i cant stop... and so yeah.. i got stop lah..but the longest i stop was like only 30 seconds? i run stop run stop...so yeahs..it's like that.then when i ran till like just come out of the jungle... i saw ZIJIE and ryan.. they were walking..the rest of the bballers were way ahead of them.then i walked behind them quietly ..lols..then when we reached the road..i started to run and overtook zijie and ryan..bet zijie was shocked. then i jsut kept run stop run stop. it was quite difficult..b/c i was really quite out of stamina...and my legs are a bit tired..and i really wanted to give up a lot..but i tell myself i cant!! i tried anything to get me going.. i even slappped my own face lols..with the beads of perspiration of spluttering over..lolz..then.. later on in the run..i really damn tired already manz.. so i decided to think of mc..think of everything i can..think of things like me asking for her hand.. about me... holding her hand..about me kissin her..lolz..practically anything i can think of! and it kinda worked..cos it like kinda took my mind off my physical state..then bloody hell! at one pt. of time..zijie actually caught up! but in the end he lagged behind.. then i managed to be in frnt of him..till the end! i also almost caught up with xin yan manz! but he ran away in the end..but im kinda proud of myself..b/c i did not give upp...for the first time in my life manz.. yst was like..the first time in my life i put in so much mental work and determination...to overcome..the odds. yeah so... i was just glad tt i didnt give up..and tt i won both of my enemies..muaahahahahahahaa!! LIM ZIJIE AND SUJITH KUMAR!! wooohooo!! then when i reached the end pt.. i was like damn happy i won them ..hahaz..and i told kum long..jun hong..moses..them ..but they like don feel happy for me..haha.=X and wot pissed me off most..ish wot moses and daniel loy said when i told them i won zijie. daniel loy said wot " why u all so childish and stufff... " dan was like a bit buay song also..i donno b/c of wot..then his buay song-ness added on to what he said really pissed me off. and then moses come tellin me " it's zijie don wan run lorhs.. if he run sure can beat u one lorhs.." at that point of time im so pissed with wht he said till i wanna scold him " u mutah****ing chee byee.. " now lemme tell u why im so pissed. b/c they all made it seem like... i can never win zijie..and that he's just see whether he wanan run or not. no matter wot... moses like always thinks i cant win him. but i m quite sure i won zijie based on my sheeerr determination. b/c zijie really hates me. and since if u hate someone so much..u wouldnt want to lose out to him right? it will be so malu right? and moses and loy thinks im so childish to like wanan win zijie. all i can say ish that..right from the start of the starting pt. till the end of the starting pt. i only have one thing in mind. and that ish NOT TO GIVE UP. it doesnt really matter if zijie wins or loses to me..the pt ish whether i myself give up on myself notx. but obviously if i had win him it would feel more good rights? One very good example i think it would be the rugby match bet. my skool and ACS(I) in the finals. it doesnt matter to the ruggers whether they win or not. it matters whether they put in the effort and whether did they train hard enuff and wehtehr did they let themselves down. whether they win or not..it ain't matter that much. but obviously if they win acsi they would be more happy right? any idiot knows that.. so yeah my pt. ish that i never really wanna win zijie. but my supposedly best friend moses..actually said thosee.. words. it's like none of them has faith in me. im just damn mad at moses. todya in skool i was reeal pissed with moses and zijie. i was so pissed till i told moses... tat " FUCK ZIJIE's mom and dad or wotsoever." i never really scold ppl's parents b4..b/c i don think they shld be at all. it's only when someone makes me so boiling mad...then i will say tt. so i guess u can imagine how pissed off i was. actually i have got so much more to tok bout this manz.. but i guess i don wanna elaborate too much on it.. cos sometimes... some things u just gotta let go a bit..or else u will feel more miserable only..makes u generate more hatred..so wot's the cue manz? all i can say is that.. im quite disappointed in moses. but nevertheless..i expected it. so yeah.
wOof! i think lemme tok bout other stuff alreadi...right?! now it's back to tok bout miNg cHuan againz.. yst she told me..she got some illness..and the mom donno say wot it's very serious if don go operation or wot will die suddenly. mC thinks her mom ish too exaggerating..and lolz..in fact i also think she's too exaggerating..but neverhtelss..i don wan it to be some serious illness or wot..so i told her..some mushy stuff lolz..but not too mushy lahz..but really wan her go see a doc immediately..and diagnose wotever the thing is.. and god bless her. really. cos mC's like..last time also got some funny funny illness happen to her when she's pri. 5... so i hope things wun repeat or wot.. yeahs..and recently ..she felt pain at her stomach.. haiya donno lah!! just hope nuffin will happen to her... that's all i guess.. mC take gr8 care okay ? *^_*^
yeah so i guess that's all for today's entry! woooof! finally!! after writing for like..2 hrs +? hmmmzz... yeah long long time manz.. just cant wait for 3rd of june to come..cos..got band concert..and harry potter!! i waited for 1 and a half yrs for hairy potter already kKz?!?! hahaa... okok lahs..i think i better sign off now.. cyaaaaaaaaaaa my cutie little diary...!! muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuackS! hahaz..

20th mayyyyyy... how fast time flies...3 days of not writin' diaryz..

2004-05-20T16:50:00.000+08:00

dEaR dEaR dEaR diiiAry..!
actually wanted to write an entry yst..but kinda forgot so i guess i shall write it now! onnn a thurrsdaay....afternoon! 16:53 pm! on tuesday actually quite lotsa stuff happened tooo..onceee again and again it's me N mc! heheehz!
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oOpz! now it's already nightie time..10+pm..haiya! coz..in the afternoonz i very tired then busy chatting online with my very very very goood suuuper friend shufen mahz. then i still a bit sian sian..so i went to take some late quiz tests hahaz. then..me and sHufen the iQ wahz..very close manz..she's 124..i 126..lolz. thoh all these online quizzes are kinda inaccurate.lolz..but really manz.she and i are like always knowing wot one wanna say and blahs..that's why we r super good friends! =D lolz..life's really unpredictable manz..just like stock prices lolz. 2 yrs plus back..shufen and i like always quarelling..lolz..scold f*** at each other somemore..lolz..but who knows that..2 yrs later..we can become such yAo hAO dE pEnG yOu.. =).then me super sian u see..so i actually went to WwW.lOvEcAlcUlatOr.com..lols! thoh it's super inaccurate..but u know it's kinda fun thoh silly...so i began typing in namez..hehe..and of cos..i typed.."jason lim" 'n' "ming chuan lee"..hehee!! =D and our chances of being together according to mR. dOctOr lUrvE ish 75% liddat!! hehez..mMmMmmMmMm ..and another thing i kinda notice ish that.. everybody after this yr's eXam period all sian onez. unlike me! lolss...and my another niceee friend dAn lOy..he like damn wEiRd..lols. he b/c of his results then whole person like can change to another character..lolz..he was like damn pissed. =X haiya..but anyway after chatting online n crapZzZzZ..i wenta sleep..was really tired..tabolek tahan manz! so i just laid on the floor liddat and slept and slept all the way till 8.40p.m. like that. shiok manz! :) then afterwards when i woke up..i was and is home alone!! wooohooo!! this yr..i'm always like home alone..lolZ..shiok ritEX? =X..then i bathed ..ate..n sms-ed mC..chuanXer! but she din reply lahz..then i like really wanna call her manz..cos i misssss her so much.. =pPp..but don wan lahz..don wanan interrupt her if she's buz or wot lahz. =) ookokok... back to tuuuuuesdaay manz!
mMmMmMmMmMmz..lemme recall first wot exactly happened on tueesday!Actually nothing much lahs..just that on that night..i called up miNg cHuan..then we talked for like 1 hr..manz..shiok right? one hour of listening her voiceee..heee..soo cuteeee!! =PpP.. i like it manz.. :D. then we talked bout wot happened lah..on monday..when she and her friends almost got caught and stuff..i'm glad to know that she wouldn't steal..but she's also afraid that she would be influenced..b/c she's like always seeing her friends steal and blahz. bUt no feaR! cos' i will be here..to prevent her from stealing! =X. Then after the phone call..i was like really thinkin' that mC and my character...as in our thots..are like kinda world apart..perhaps it's b/c the diff. kind of friends we have..then i like kinda wanna give up already manz.. cos i feel like we both have repelling characterz.. and perhaps it's true or very true that i don't know her that well..afterall b4 fallin in (L) with her. bUt donnno why or how..the next day..i'm back to likin' her that much manz..
but the cOOl part of tues' night was after i put down the phone...cos' i kinda sms her and asked her a Q... and the Q was " miNg cHuAn.. where am i standing now..in your heart..am i just beside you..or far away form you.. "..then once again larhz..u know her pattern lols.. she replied " dOtX mAnZ.." lols..bUt later on..she told me..she said ..plZ allow mUa to quote..lolz..--> "yaa not very far away from me...nor very close to me..middle middle.." . actually arhs..why must she add the " nor very close to me " part..demoralised me manz..really lahz..after i saw that part..felt a bit demoralized..lolz..but later on..when i asked " am i standing right where i stood a month back...? " then she said no lahz.. she said..that i improved a lots!! heheez!!! =D yeah!i! heheheheehz! but i guess i still have a long wayz to go manz.. think at least she needs 2 more mths.. wOof! Sooo far..i like asked her this Q for twice.. and i think i wun ask her again..till perhaps one month plus later.. cos i don wanna like stwess her outz..sigh ~!~ actually... on 3rd of june..i kinda really wanna after sending her home..then ask her to be my gurlfriend.. but i guess..i still have a long long way to go..so i think don lahz. wait till later bAz..
mMmMmMmMmZ ! then u know u know.. while we sms-ing on tuesday nite.. after i popped her that question she.. said..[quoting from provenance lolz!] -->"hAiyO u bEaRy iDeRtz lEhz..Y waste time on mi while that's alot more better gurls den mi out dere "--> hehs! soo i replied.." b/c i like u very much..." =pPp..u read already also can feel the gooossey bumpies right? lols! then sooo she replied.. --> "ahz ..dot manz u now lyke tt SAEx aRhz..Maybe next time will change Urz mind LErx..LoLz..Sure derz.." 'n' soooo..i replied " well..now ish now..and the fact now ish that i like u a lotz..." something liddat one laRhz..hehez. then i was kinda unsure of..whether where i really stand in her heart..so i asked aUdRey..lolz..to help me gauge..thru mC's sMses.. then AudRey..said.. that she thinks mC likes me..just that she's shy to say it.. wAhZ.. if this is really truez..thennn woooohoooo manz!! hahaZ lolz... bUt i don think she will like me a lotz..donno lahs..but i kinda feel that she likes me a little only..haiya! sooo... dOtX mAnZ..all these..=X.
Haiya..enUff of all these..let's tok bout other stuffz..lols..my results?!?! grrrh! u know wot pissed me off most when i got bck my results? it's that i lost to the bApOK [sujith] like fcuk. not really a lot..but..i lost to him in 3 subz. dammit! and that's like enuff to kill me..fOOk.. sigh~..i think i'm way too slack..and the most shockin part ish that.. even the most slackiest ppl in my class can come in top for a particular sub!! tHru' this i can really infer that.. " it doesn't matter how tough it is.. what matterz is if u have the drive and determination..really...impossible is nothing..." .. What u wan is just right in front of u...it's just a matter of whether u dare to reach for it. Ain't it truez? But dunchno why..this all week i feel real tired and restless..never even really study.. shucks manz..and chi o levels is drawin near..shucks only like left with 8 more dayz..dammitz.. haiya! okokz..haiya..enuff of all thesez..i think i'm gonna type till here!
and btw...just now i msg-ed andrew via msn..then he's like don wan tok with me.. sigh ~!~ once again it's my fault..dammit.. everythin like my fault.. and always me the first of the parties involved to apologise onez.. sigh~!~ me and me and me fault againz.. pEngZ..
okok lahz.. i think better don write anymore lerhs..or else spoil my whole mood.. =X . mMmMmMmmMmMm! deeeariee diary...n|teX !.!.!.! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! rawka on everybody out dere!!

w00f...wOahs mAnZ..tuff dAez..17th mAy 04'

2004-05-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

dEaR diArry,
todae lotsa things happened manz.. =( but i guess things will be better the next day! i demanded myself to write this entry no matter wots..thoh it's kinda late now.. cos today ish a day with so much incidents that..i must write it down no matter wot. it's a die die must write thing manz.
firstly of all..lemme write down wot went on manz today.. earlie in the morning..i was screwed. lolz. cos i woke up late..and i was like meeting arthur, kum long, daniel loy..in just an hr's time ..lolz.i freaaked out..so i immediately..brushed my teeth and stuff and dressed into my clothes quickly..eveyrthing was so rush..hahz. and surprisingly i was not late for the meeting! hahaz..just nice manz..11.30am on the dot! then we four went cineleisure to watch TROY. it was a hell yeah darn good movieee. really worth a hell yeah watch. much better than Gladiator. another die die must watch moooviee.. then after that we went to lucky plaze to have lunch there since arthur said the foodcourt there is like real emptyz..and stuff. Then .. i msg-ed MinG chUan..yeah..cos as usual she was on my mind..the whole time. then she told me she was like gonna learn how to break.. then thots ran thru my head.. i kinda suddenly feel that.. i'm not good enough for her manz. she's like so cooool and hip and stuffz. and i'm like sooo...loser? or is it that ..my inferiorty complex is playing tricks on me..i dunch know manz. i wish someone would tell me why and what..manz. anyway after when i reached home.. i saw shufen..online then i told her bout me feeling not good enuff for mC..then she was real nicee..as in she said lotsa comforting stuff..she was real nicez..i guess i shouldn't have talked botu mC..cos she was like later feelin moody..and didnt really wanan tok with me. i guess i shld just shuddup..next time.. =X.
okays..let's tok bout another part of the day now..lolz..after makan..we threee..w/o Loy went to wheeelock place to have coffee bean and sat there for like one hr pluz.. b4 walking to plaza singapura.. there and took mrt homeez.. everything was finee.. thru-out the day..till just now.. around 9pm+...
all b/c of amaths. the amaths results were known thru this stupid weebiex of the skool..arthur was real sad..as he got only 25/80..his amaths all the while's quite okay then this time liddat..he was real real real sad manz.. but actually he kinda deserve it a little..cos he's like always too confident and kinda proud of himself..i know it's no wrong being confident of himself..but he overdoes it..he does it for eveyr exam..and though he didn't really study much. that's why i guess it's a lesson god is teaching him..but actually i also think there's an err in the calculation or keying in of marks..cos arthur wun fail onez..he might get a c6..but surely wun fail onez..so i guess there's some human err. therez..and whereas for moses..im quite happy for him..cos he got an A1! 60/80..after the exam on tt day he was like real sad..cos..he knew he would get real low..like a B4...thoh he studied real hard..but.. god was watching over him..and he got an A1..just nice on the dot! so i guess he's real happies..then for kum long and daniel loy..they were both quite sadz too..bout amaths.. shucks..wotta spirit dampening...thing to happen..today. wellz..i got..32/80..bad..enuff too..but i didn't really feel much. jsut now told bobby bout my results. he thinks tt it's real bad. and it is real bad. tt's y he asked me to do at least 5 sums everyday...from 10 yrs series and hand in to him everyday. i 'm glad he actually ordered me to do so..so i wun get slack.
Then..audrey was also sadz..cos..over this aCs bArker guy she likes.. she took the initiative and chased after him for like a month already..but yet.. to no avail..and she was about to ask the guy how he feels bout her..and stuff..tonight..and she was like quite positive on the result to be negative.. so yeahs she was sad and stuffz like that tooZ.. so i guess today is a bLeAhS day manz..but i hope the guy will like her lahs..and it's truly like her..not take her as a SuB. for his chio bu Ex.. yeahs..
the thing tt really affected me..ish ming chuan. becos..later on in the night..which was like 1 hr back.. i msg-ed her..asking her to slp early..and forget bout her suay dayz..today. cos firstly..her hp got confiscated by the discipline master..then she almost landed herself into police station. so i msg-ed her..and tellin her to sleep early to forget bout all these..crapz feelings and events manz. then later on..during the sms..she told me..that she and her friends almost got landed into the police station b/c of stealingz.. at tt moment my heart was like really down manz. thoh mC didn't steal...but she was like helping her friends to look out. and her friends weeree stealing.. i know it's not easy for her to reject her friends's request to help them keep on a look out...so i only wished that thoh she may helped her friends..but inside..she disapproved of wht they did. but..she didn't ..she was like quite okay bout helping them. then at that moment it really got me thinking..whether did i fall in lurve with the wrong gur? then quite many thots came to me manz. i was real confused. looking back onto last yr..there was another incident..which i rmb-ed mC and her friends go finding this other gur and her friends.. and thrash things out..stuff like these. she was like some lianz liddat manz.. thoh i know she hates being a lian.. and last yr when this happened..i was real disappointed with her.. cos i never wanna her to be such a person... then she said she wun be such a person anymore..alreayd which ish gooodx. then suddenly today..come this stealing incident... which really like kinda make me think bout..her moral values and stuff manz.. im not some big moral obedient freeeak or wotx.. but at the least..i hope that the gur i like so much.. wun do things like stealing..yeahz. so i was real confused on whether did i like the wrong gur manz..
i know that thoh i may like her so much...and that most likely she wun reciprocate..but that's not the point manz.. the point ish bout me liking the wrong gur notx manz. cos it's likee.. i like her so much..and i trust implicitly in her to not do such stuff..thenz it's like she disappointed me..thoh she didn't promise me anything or wots. this is the part that really got me.. screwed ..cooked manz. i think it's like i like her so much till that i wish that the stealing incident wasn't for real. cos i don wanan like .. fall for the wrong gurr.. cos i trusted her to not do such things.. and furthermore..when i went out with her..she was quite okays.. and cutee.
i guess perhaps it's true like wot she said.. " Don't say you love me " -m2m. "you don't even know me..." --> a phrase from the song. i guess i just don know her that well yet. i am only seeing things from the surface.. cos it's like when she's with her friends..perhaps she's more open and stuff, thus she acts differently..and she acts in a differnt way that i may not accept it.. so afterall i guess i really do need to know more about her. But it's like.. if she doesn't like open up with me or wot..i wun really know much bout her..since im not studying in the same skool as her..and stuffz. and she's like always syaing the same things in sms..That's why i also donno how the heck am i gonna know her better manz..
And it's like... i'm afraid that i may not like her as much.. bc i really do wanna like her with all my heart.. cos.. it's like she's the only gur so far who can like..make me ..totally don even wanna see other gurs at all manz.. and i reeally wanna continue being this manner. Then suddenly out with all these stuff..that's why i'm really confused.. thohts all messed up..i hope god will guide me along..thru eveyrthing.. tell me which is right and wrong..and give me the strength to do so...
i like mC..and i donn wanna like..give up chasing her or wot..cos i wanan know that i have given in my best...no matter wot the result turns out to be..i don wanna like..in the near future see her with another guy..then regret like sh|t manz..yet im afraid that from now onwards my liking for her..will cease to be tt great like b4..
This time, i'm really caught in the middle..i really hope someone would really tell me wot to do manz.. okayz..now it's kinda late..and tml's a skool day ..i guess i better turn in right nowz..
mC...i sincerely hope..that you are not the kind of person i'm thinking you are..

-siGning oFF timE ::: 1.05a.m.

i m|ss yOu m0Re eAcH dAeee ... tIme sEEms liKe aN etErniTy...

2004-05-16T16:04:00.000+08:00

hElloooooo dEariE dIarY,
it's mMmMmMmMmMmMmMz..4.16p.m. singapore time! actually..normally..i write a new diary entry at the end of the day..so can gather all the thots and feels then write down together at the same time mah..hOrhs? But i just couldn't help it..so i decided to come online and write a new entry! oMg..diAry dIarY..i think of her more and more each day.. Xpecially oN thE weekEnds..when i'm nOt out wif my fRiEnDs..i can't get her outta my head..she's like permanently saved in my hardisk brain..lolz.
thOh i miss her so much..think of her so much..donno why but somehow my 6th sense..lolz.. is telling me that it's foolish to do so.i donno lahz.. all i know ish tt i think of her till i =Z alreadix.actually i find it like a bit silly too..coz.. it's like a one-sided feeling kinda stuff. i think only me havin feelins' for her and not vice versa..think she's like totally numb bout me..=(
oH yah~..i just know why now i feel foolish bout this whole matter..b/c it's like i'm allowing my whole mood and stuff like dis to get affected like nutz..just b/c of this thing. aiyarhs..i think i better don't think too much bout it.. gotta concentrate on more impt. stuff.. =X but nevertheless i still like her that much! =)
oH yAh~ and one more thing ish that.. i wanna ask her out tml u know diary!! it's like.. i wanna go out with her more and more!! don go out with her..can die manz.. lols. that's why now im like in a dilemma. i donno whether to ask her out notx. cos if i ask her out..i scared later she reject me..or whotx. and in the situation she doesn't reject me..i scared later when we go out..i no topics to talk again.. =X but yet still.. i really wanna go out with her.. aiyah..that's why u see i'm in a dilemma ritex.. JiN tUi LiAng nAn mAnZ..
mAYbe i shld go ka jiao bobby for a while and ask him for his opinions..hehs. =X. aiyah okay okay i think i better zao first go do some chinese or wotx.. don so slack mANZ.. oR elSe cAnNoT mAke iTz.. heheez.. i think perhaps tonite then come write more cock lahs.. see whether got any new stuff revolving aorund my stupid world first notx.. =X ok lahs..see yah..diarrrrrrry.. !

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HellO diAry! i"m continuing this entry since these events occur on the same day.. well but now it's in the night alreadi.. 12:48 a.m.. jUst now after i last typed the entry i didn't really do much.. wenta make some canned food crap to eat..for d time being cos was feeling real famished.
Then later on in the evening like 6:30p.m. dAniEl lOy asked me whether wanna go out have dinner with him at city hall since he's going there the levi's store to purchase some crab.. so i said " on lahs.." lolz..since i was like boring to tears at homez.. so i must as well go out for a while breathe in fresh air..lolz.then we went out.. we ate bUrGer kIng.. and i ate this yummieee icee cream! cost me 5.70 bucks manz..but it was darn hell yeah worth it..sooo mamalicious!! hehehez.. then on the way to the mrt thru city link..lOy was really crappin' manz.. he tok bout wot in yrs to come..bout him marrying his dream gal amanda .. and bout wot happening to his other friends..such as me..arthur..kum long..austen. lolz..really full of crap manz.. never seen a more crappy guyz.. despite me being one of the same kind too! lolzz.. then i took the mrrt home..
On tHe trip home..the only person on my mind..was mC mC mC mC mC mC mC mC mC mC and only mC. then when i was at jUrong Interchange mrt station. bloody hell! i was like leaning against this pillar..which has an electrical socket in it. then suddenly this ang-mohish guy just squatted beside me n plugged his handphone charger in it to charge his handphone!!! i was like.. " dOtX mAnZ.." this is really dottty...first time in my life see ppl liddat also can siaa.. i was totally speechless. =X. cross tongued. hahaaz. the wonders of this world..lolz.
While waiting for the mrt train to arrive.. i decided to msg mC with my handphone.. i msg-ed something bout her sleeping early to be refreshed for her amths exam tml..then she replied.. " i haven't studied!!" i was like =X speechless again hahaz. then she said she wanna give up..she said for the next exam then she will try harder.. but i know it well that when someone procrastinates things..he/she will never be able to get the thing done.. but of cos i never tell her that lahz.. i told her not to give up..to jia you! i really mean it one arhz. i really hope she doesnt give up..and continue to perserve on..thoh i know it's tough and difficult coz i have been through it myself. that's why i told her...i will be here 24-7 thru-out this nitee.. in the case that she needs my help or wotsoever. then after an hour liddat..or so after i last sms her.. i kinda like feel a bit heartached lahs.. cos i know it's really very strenuous for her to perserve on. then if i see her so tired..i will a bit (U)... u know the u know know..hahaz..yeahz..so i decided to call her.. and talk with her. but..but! when i called her.theere was no answer. she was already fast asleep... kinda disappointed that she gave up so easily..then that was the moment which i started to think " Am i like.. trying too hard on everything that concerns her..? ".. i just feel likee... im doing things that r like.. she 's gonna heck care liddat.. aiya..i also donno.. =( sigh~!~ lolz.. Then now..i wanna sms her..also donno wot to type..donno whether which is better for me to type.. i just hope that tml..she will have a peace of mind..calmness and try the best of her abilities to attempt all the quetions.. and really..hope that god will be with her.. mMmMmMmMmMmMmZ..yeahz..i think i shall write to here thenz.. cos it's already kidna late now..it's like 1:08 am..tml still gotta wake up...1t 9am..to go...out with lOy & co. lolzz.. okay lahzz..i shall sign off here. miss yarh lots mC. *^_^*

i LiKe tHe WaY i dRivE mYsElf cRazzzEE thInkiN' oF u....

2004-05-16T01:59:00.000+08:00

hieee diary~!~!~!~
lolzx..i feel like as if im typing like a gUrs..hahaz. [|istenin' to O-town's All oR nothin].. dear dearie diary..dis morning like 12+ pm i felt super super super happpy!! hehehez..coz mInG cHuAn..da cRusH of my life..msg-ed me after i sent her an sms..at first i thoht she's not gonna reply or wot.. then she replied something i..read already.. =)!! lemme quote the contents out..hehehe.. --> [helloz. Gd afternoon jas.Lolz.Izzit.Well.Same here.u was lyke. Ermz oweas full of stories 2 tell me Derz.heeeheez.Nvm.i enjoyed it 2.Heeeheeez.thanz alot ferz ytd =)] --> lovely msg rite!! when i first read it...first saw it.. my heart like totally..hehehee!! =) so glad to know tt..i wasnt a boring company to her..heheex. and dis morning i watched the PIRATED dvd my uncle lent me..lols..titled B|g f|sH. MmMmMmMmz..reminds me of Fish & Co. lols.. i promise that the next time we go out..i will bring her there to eat! hehes.. aiya..back to my b|g Fish..lolz. it was a rather really meaningful movie..toks bout dis guy whu goes around toking bout his adventures. then there was this part of the movie which was bout him chasing the gur ..the love of his life. then.. one day the guy was like proposing to the gur..and the gur.. said " you don't even know me...", but the guy replied.." i have the rest of my life to do that .." hehez..! i felt like telling tat to ming chuan too.. =)
today the whole day..i was like thinking of her..she was and she is constantly on my mind.. c(: . then today i went for swimming..lesson with my coachie jErEmy..then he said i swim super super slow!! lolss..i also know it's very slow..but i have already tried my best and i have no other regrets..lols!! Singer fiasco William Hung's renowned phrase. lols. that's why i thot of discontinuing swimming lessons since i like u knoww..so lousy lah hors? and today i slacked ! never study chinese..alamak manz!cannot manz..cannot liddat..or else later cannot make it manz.. hehes. so i think i better bUcK up..pull up my tupid ankle socks..hahaaz.
wahs.then just now in the evening like 10+pm..i ate pizzza hut..wooohooo ate till so full..ate so shiok.. 4 big yummmie slurppeee slices of pizzze..just for me! hahaz..and a cuppie of pepsi original PLUS 2 bars of TiME oUt chocs. mint flavoured. ;)shiok manx..this is life..lolss..but ate till like stomach feels so stretched..lols..
then just now i msg-ed ming chuan..hehez. it's like a MUST routine everyday..cos if one day don see her sms cannot eat cannot sleeep..lols.. then she was like saying she's feeling very very hungry. then i like u know the u know...thinking.. if i could do anything to make her feel better..i would. lols..do i like sound so dOtX mAnz.. hahaz..but really manx..if let's say if i live near her..i wun mind going all the way to her house..and cook for her. =X of cos cook maggie noddles lahs..=X. aiya..i think im crazzze over her manz.. and it's like i donno y too.. and it's like very very very bEaRy dOtty mAnZ!
then sometimes like...i always tell her ttt she's very cutee... she's like don bleieve me..cos she merely type a few words..then i say she very cutee.. i know she like perhaps think i say all these to only chase her..but.i wanna tell her that.. everything i say to her..since the day i met her.. is from the bottom of my heart. no lies. only the truth.. =]
mMmMMmMmmZ...tml perhaps going out with arthur..shufen..daniel loy. but must get permission from big boss up there first..which ish my mommie?!?! hahaz..i think later..b4 i oRhs.. or wwait till tml morning then ask..more safe..lols!.!.!.! i hope to go out..to cheong..to hab fun..hahaz.. if we r gonna go out i think we will watch vAn hElSIng again.which i dunch mind cos it's a super niceee movie! darn shiok!
oK laRhz.. i think me write till here..cozzie my eyes r getting strained and tired out by the toopid computrer for like 3hrs?? dunch wan my eyesight to deteriorate again mAnzZ...gosh! it's 2.26 a.m. singapore time now!! argh!! better quick go slp..or else later me kena hamtamp if cannot wake up on time to go for churchie tml.. ok lahs..diary..wAn Anz.. n|teX.. and of cOz..to Da cUteeeeessst... girll... on earth.. n|tEx n|tEX...and sweetest dreamiez..to her..foreverz.. =] nItEx mIng cHuAnz.. hehee!!
miSS yArh..mC..4eva. [ *^_^* ]

14 / aPriL / 04

2004-05-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

dEaR dIaRy [ m2m's song ],
today 14th april 2004...i went out with mInG cHuAn..hehe!! she's da gur i like..ever since i saw her..=). i donno wot it is tt draws me to her..but ever since i saw her..i can't get her outta my head..and all i know ish tt..i like her a lots and a lots.but i don think got so much till i can use the word "lurve" to describe it..lahs.
anyway i wanted to write an entry in a toally new diary..cos.. suddenyl i wanna pen down my thots..and i wnana look back upon it..on later days to come. i don wanna lose this feeling.. hehes.. and i wanted to have this new diary so as to i can have my personal privacy space..hehe! omg..i think i'm fallin' in luv with ming chuan more and more!! arrrgh!! saveee meE!! lols..
today i went out with her..and arthur..lols..arthur go there be big light bulb..hahas.play gooseberry lols. no lahs. cos i kinda wanna arthur to go too..so that at least not like only one - to one- go out... scared later she feel tt im too boring..hahaa.so the daeeee goes liddat lahs.. at first we went to watch movie at tp entertainment centre.. but aiya.. i like tok so little manz!! =( give her bad impression hors? =X then i was like thinking already " alamak lahs..no chance already..i like go out with ppl also cannot like make her luff luff or wot..she surely think im such a super super boring guy!! so surely die die one lahs.. =X " ...actually diary ar...me think me also no chance de.. cos i think she perhaps thinks im not her type.. wahwah!! sobb sobb.. =X.
but there's this shiok part of the day..hehe! when we entered the cinema theatre..it was damn bloody dark!! couldn't even see the steps! then arthur was like walking in front of me..then i was the 2nd to walk up the stairs..then ming chuan was the last. then when ming chuan was like to step onto the last step she tripped!! then her hand grabbed mine!! hehehehee!! i was soooo happy mans!! alrightX!! but actually she grabbed my hand cos..she tot i was the railling.. =XXX.. jacked man!! =X but i really hope that i would be the one she will lean on whenever she needs support..hehe. if only really liddat..then it will be the super super superest day of my life!! =) then while watching the movie..she like keep on smsing!! the starting part lahs.. lols..i muz have been super boring..!!
btw..her msn nick --> " [-:. >>____music..rox..(^_^) xiao.toopid.thinking.of.you.____<< .:-] ... i'm quite sure that the xiao toopid not me..!! lols... i think perhaps she's still thinking of her ex..thoh she like say don have. aiya.. if it's really like this..then..aiya! cannot help it also mahs.. anyway..even thoh she really like other ppl..and bgr with them..also bo bian mans..lols.. i think this is just a low pt of life! hahas.. but she's soo cuteeee mans!! i'm so mesmerized by her mans..
and just now in the mrt..she was like just standing so close to me.. and our hands were like only 2cm apart.. how i wish i could just hold it!! and if i can .. i wanna tell her that.. " i don wanna let go...and i will never let go..." hehehe!! and also i wanan tell her.." mc..i like u very very very much.." hehee..
and just now when we went mac eat..ming chuan told me when she pri. 5 she got cancer!! then i was like :| !!! but phew~ it's a benign..or else i might never know her..i might never fall in lurve with such a cuteeee gur..and just now when she told me bout it.. i was like sooo concerned..hehes..i like feel like hug her and tell her that..no matter wot happens..i'm here!lols..i think i like one sided wishful thinking.. but i really hope to hold her hand..forever.. =pPp
honestly speaking..i donno..wot i like bout her. i donno whether am i like only lovestruck b/c of her face? but she ain't chio..just tt when she luffss..i find her very cuteee!! i really donno wot i like bout her.. sigh~!~ i hope tt she'll be my everything.. [ 98 dEgReeS - My everything ] hehehes..
another thing to celebrate ish... i sound much more cheerful now! hehee...after she came into my life.. hehehes!! anyway.. dear diary...today n 28th april the days i went out with her..thoh we may not like tok veyr much or wot.. but i really enjoy the days lots.. cos i lurve to luxuriate in her prescence? hehehees..!! i hope tonight..she will sleeep super titex titex...cozzily under her thick blanket.. and sweetest dreamz ever.. and ever.. hehes..
b4 i go offline..i just wanan say sumthing..

MING CHUAN I LIKE U LOTS N LOTS N LOTS !!!! I MISSS YA LOTSS !!!!

-jas. =)